“Privacy – like eating and breathing – is one of life’s basic requirements.”
~ Katherine Neville
First of all, welcome to Lydia on life!
Not everyone shouts from the roof top about their relationship status. Even if you share certain parts of it with others, not everyone needs to know, right? But it’s those people that don’t know that feel the need to ask. You know those types of people? There’s a word for them…
Over the weekend, I encountered an uncomfortable situation where someone asked me if K is in fact my boyfriend. Often, these types of people are unaware that there is a reason you haven’t shared certain information with them. Other times, those people assume that what they would share about themselves is what you should share about yourself. Either way, their lack of sensitivity to your personal life can put you in an uncomfortable situation. You feel forced into answering a question you didn’t want to give the answer to. Sound familiar?
For me, the question regarding my relationship status was asked in a group setting. This group consisted of people that were too young to know about my personal life, people not close enough to me for me to share the details of my personal life and people who already know (because I’ve personally told them). So how do you respond?
I played the “I don’t know what you are talking about” card and said he is just a friend. Cowardly of me, I know.
After that moment, I realised I do not owe anyone an explanation about my personal life. I don’t have to confirm or deny their assumptions either. It’s personal for a reason. What I should have said was:
” This isn’t the time or the place to ask me such a question. If you want to know about my private life, then you ask me in private please.”
And sprinkle a little “Are we clear?” attitude for effect. Next time. And trust me there will be a next time.
If they do ask me in private and I don’t want to tell them, I will simply say:
” I don’t talk about the details of my personal life to everyone. When I’m ready to share it with you I will. Until then, don’t ask me please.”
Where was this energy and clarity when I was asked the first time, ey? I guess you live and learn.
At the end of the day people are going to think what they want regardless of what you say. Be mindful not to intentionally offend but let them know where you stand. You may not have the perfect way of telling someone to mind their business but hopefully this post has given you some idea and encouragement on how to handle them.
Have you been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? What would you have said or done differently?
Let me Let me know in the comments below.
Till next time!