“I think a lot, but I don’t say much ” ~ Anne Frank
I’m a bit of a loner when it comes to the office environment. I get into work, grab a cup of tea and start my day. Earphones in and the rest of the world out. Sound familiar?
It doesn’t help that I technically don’t belong to a team. My role as a Project Manager means I often work with different groups of people in the company. Being a team of one means I can get my work done without relying on other people.
Do I like it? Kind of.
By being a team of one I don’t really depend on anyone. As long as I get my work done I don’t have to answer to anyone except for my manager who I speak to occasionally. I can decide to work from home if I want to, when I want to without worrying how it would impact someone else.
Would I change it? Kind of.
With only one person responsible for managing the internationalisation of all of our products, the work load can get really heavy. If I want to get any work done and leave the office by 6 I have to block out everyone and everything. Most of the time I eat my lunch at my desk because I don’t want to waste any time. Aside from not having someone to share the workload, there’s no one in the office that understands the work I do and how overwhelming it can get. With my eyes glued to the computer for most of the day, it’s hard to build relationships with people around me.
Don’t get me wrong, I work with some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. It’s because of them I’ve gotten good at small talk in the morning whilst making some team. The awkward silences are no longer there (as much) in between conversations.
10 months ago I was this shy, quiet person who kept herself to herself and dreaded work-related conversation with people. I didn’t realise how much a new job would turn me into an introvert. Nothing like me outside of work at all. But I guess different environments (and people) bring out different characteristic in you, right?
Now, I keep to myself out of choice rather than awkwardness but make it a point to speak to people so i don’t seem anti-social. However, I’m still not at that place where I feel comfortable to go out for after work drinks for example or ask someone to go out for a walk. You know what I mean? I haven’t found anyone I click with on a non-work related level. Spending 40 hours a week in an office can make you want someone to suffer share it with. Someone you can talk to both in and out of the office.
March 2017 will mark 1 year since I’ve been at this company. I wondering if things will be different by then. We’ll see.
Do you ever feel alone in the office? What makes you feel that way? How do you deal with it?
Let me know in the comments below, email me or tweet me @lydiaonlife.
P.s: Here are a few articles I found interesting regarding work loneliness: