“My job is to like me first.“
Last week whilst writing my post on alternative ways of thinking I stumbled across a video by Lisa Nichols that has inspired me beyond explanation. Though I’m not in the same position as her, I could relate to everything she said and it was confirmation of how powerful words can be. This motivated me to write her words down and make her words my own. To use her testimony as the footpath to my testimony. Maybe you need to be in a place of wanting change so badly to understand. Maybe not. For now, I hope these words are enough…
I am completely willing to die to any form of me that I have ever been so that I can birth the woman that I’m becoming.
The reason why most of us aren’t who we want to be is because we are too attached to who we’ve been. We say to ourselves “I’ve always been this way”. You see this may be OK for you but it’s not working for me any more. I’ve hit my version of rock bottom. I’ve hit my limit on this level and I no longer want to remain here. It’s not enough for me any more.
I want more.
But I won’t get more unless I’m willing to let go of everything and everybody.
You see the doorway to the next level is only big enough for me to fit through it but I’m busy trying to carry everybody else. Instead, I have to rescue me first. I am much more valuable to my family and to my community because I am willing to let them go and go through the door myself. To teach myself, learn myself, condition myself and then come back and get them.
We might experience judgment, loneliness and isolation but we have to allow our conviction to make us inconvenienced.
You see, we want to grow but at the same time we want to stay liked by everybody. Most of us are like that. Look at social media; we all want to be liked. Well, I woke up today and decided that I like myself; everybody else’s like is extra.
My job is to like me first and to do that I have to be willing to be my own rescue mission at the risk of everyone else’s approval. I have to be willing to say every day, Lydia I like you. Lydia, I’m proud of you. Every day before I check in with anybody else.
That’s lonely by the way and you want to know why most people won’t do it? Because it’s scary and it’s lonely. But it’s something we have to do to get to where we want to be.
When your life seems OK it’s easy to think that you’ve arrived and that that’s all there is. But I don’t ever want to think I’ve arrived. My yesterday is old; I’m interested in my future.
Who am I becoming tomorrow? What am I accomplishing tomorrow? It’s easy to get caught up in our achievements but that should never stop us from wanting more. From sitting at the hem of someone’s cloak and asking “what do you know about…?”
It’s not about where I’ve been but where I’m about to go.
I need to go to people who know how to make, keep and grow the very things I want in my life. I need to go to people who know what I don’t know. I need to find people who have what I don’t have. People who are living the lives that I’m not living and who believe things that I didn’t know about. I need to be willing to humble myself and become their student. I need to kill my ego every day and take a slice of humble pie. I need to get hungry and learn.
Success leave clues, I’m just need to pick them up.
In order for me to teach I have to be willing to be the student first. Learn what they know. Walk like them, talk like them and then embed myself in all of that knowledge.
Once I become the student, I need to look at every toxic behaviour in my life, every single one.
We find it hard to be honest with ourselves let alone the world because we’re so busy trying to do four things; protect, prove, hide and defend things in our lives.
Our energy is consumed with protecting, proving, hiding and defending. If we wake up every day saying; I have nothing to protect, I have nothing to prove, I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to defend; then we make space for creation. We can choose to be who we want to be but first we have to choose to let go of what we’re protecting, proving, hiding and defending.
So every day I need to get in the mirror and say 3 sentences.
Lydia, I’m proud of you for…
Every day I need to find 7 different things to celebrate Lydia. We are under celebrated. We want someone else to celebrate us more than we celebrate ourselves. We want to hear thank you from others more than we want to hear thank you from ourselves. We want other people to say I love you more than we say I love you to ourselves.
The world is looking at me and following my example on how to treat me. How I treat me, the world is going to follow my lead. So I have to start treating Lydia better.
Lydia, I forgive you for…
Every day I need to find 7 things to forgive Lydia for. This one will be tough and at times we might cry. It’s easy to feel selfish in wanting more for ourselves in spite of what others might want from us. We will battle with ourselves and maybe those around us but we also need to be willing to forgive ourselves for it until it gets easier. Until that feeling of guilt or that thing that makes us cry doesn’t come up any more.
Lydia; I commit to you that …
More often than not I make bigger commitments to other people than I do for myself. If I commit to you, ride or die, I will be there. I will show up and I will be there. But when I make commitments to myself I don’t do it. I was being everything for everybody but nothing for myself. So now every day I need to get in the mirror and say 7 things that I commit for myself.
I need to start every day by celebrating Lydia, forgiving Lydia and making a commitment to Lydia.
This post was my way of simply expressing what I took away from listening to her speech. Putting myself in her words made them mean more to me.
I hope it encourages you to start every day by celebrating yourself, forgiving yourself and making a commitment to yourself despite what others might think. To to be willing to be your own rescue mission at the risk of everyone else’s approval. To allow your conviction to make you inconvenienced and to wake up every day liking yourself first.
I know I will!
This post is only half of the video so stay tuned for my interpretation of the rest of the speech in my next post. If you can’t wait that long, here’s the link to the video.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did! If you have watched it please feel free to share what you got out of the video in the comments below.
Till next time!