“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”
Dear Future Self,
A lot has happened in the last few months and it’s only March!
Some of it has been good and some not so good, and sometimes the best response to it all is to cry.
In preparation for writing this post I did some research on why we cry because, well, even though many times we know why we are crying, there are times where we have no idea why we are crying. Not exactly. We just have this feeling to let it all out.
So why do we cry?
Crying can be scientifically defined as the shedding of your tears in response to an emotional state. The tears that are produced as a result of this emotional state are called psychic, or ‘crying’ tears. We experience them from stress, pleasure, anger, sadness and suffering to indeed, physical pain. Psychic tears contain a natural painkiller, called leucine enkephalin which is perhaps, part of the reason why we might feel better after a good cry.
Crying is a natural response to life and the many things we deal with yet more often then not we act as though this natural response isn’t natural. Instead we try to suppress it in an attempt to show how strong we are. But who told us our tears are a sign of weakness?
Tears are a positive representation of who we are. They demonstrates not only our deep emotional connections with our world – past, present, and future – but allows you to visibly celebrate and acknowledge that fact.
Through my tears both in front of others and when no one was around I found strength. I didn’t have the capacity to think about my pain and the reason for my tears, I just cried. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t see and at times I couldn’t breath. My thoughts and my pain were released in those tears and after those tears had dried I felt better. I felt freer. Though there was still some pain and negative thoughts still in me, by crying I had emptied them just enough to see the positive things that were around me.
Crying gave me the strength and release I needed to empty out the bad and focus on the good and I want to remind you of that. I want to remind you how important it is to cry. Cry through the fear. Cry through the anger. Cry through the heartbreak even when you think you shouldn’t. Don’t think, just do it. Your tears are more powerful than you know.
Keep crying through it until that thing no longer makes you cry. Even as you take action to remove yourself from the very things that causes you pain, cry through it until it no longer affects you. Until you are completely free from it. Until you no longer feel the need to cry when you think about it.
Don’t criticise yourself, your situation or those who have caused you to cry, just cry. Cry until the tears dry on their own. After you have emptied yourself of all the emotions you were feeling, you now have room in your heart and mind to think clearly.
Genesis 21:17 “God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.”
So dear future self, if you take anything away from what you’ve experienced these passed few months I hope its this:
- It’s OK to cry over your own pain
- It’s OK to cry over other peoples pain
- It’s OK to cry as many times as you feel the need to
- It’s OK to cry without knowing what will happen once you stop crying
Fear is a temporary emotion. Anger is a temporary emotion. Heartbreak is a temporary emotion. Tears are temporary too. Never make a permanent decision based off temporary emotions.
Make those tears counts by allowing them to do what they were created for – to express and release your pain, fear, anger and heartbreak and everything else you might be feeling.
And one more thing, with everything thats happening over the last few months I want to remind you that you are doing great. I’m proud of how you are handling things and I’m praying for you.
Keep working on yourself and everything will fall into place.
P.S.: Some of the statements on why we cry were taken from the below resources: