Getting Your Groove Back after a Set Back

“Don’t live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.”

Germany Kent


Dear Future Self,

It’s easy to feel like never leaving your house when you have the privilege of working from home as often as I do. Not many companies allow that and it’s a perk I will never take for granted. It comes in handy when the plumber is coming around or when life knocks you down and you need a minute or two before you can get back up again.

However, this minute can turn into a week of not taking the best care of yourself. You hide away in your cocoon and instead of facing the world. Before you know it you’ve gone more than 24 hours without showering, you don’t know if you’ve brushed your teeth yet and your hair hasn’t seen a comb or moisturiser in a while. To top it off, your luxury skin care routine has turned to a mere water and Vaseline – if you feel like it.

I spent about a week and a half living in my gown and head scarf working from home because it was easier than finding the emotional strength to face the world looking better than I felt. The idea of answering questions like “Hows everything going?” or “You feeling ok?” was something I didn’t want to deal with. I was drained emotionally and I couldn’t answer those questions without crying. I wasn’t OK. Everything wasn’t going well but I didn’t have the strength to admit that to people so I hid.

Avoiding the office for a week was one thing but letting my skin care and general hygiene routine go down the drain was something else. I become someone else. It wasn’t like me to hide away or allow my situation to get the best of me. But I did and now that I’m no longer in that place of hiding away I want to ensure you never ever go back there again, no matter what.

Though hiding may seem like the easier option, it’s certainly not the answer. Instead, do these 5 things and you’ll never have to go back to that sunken place again.


Sometimes we get so lost in our problems we forget that there is a God who knows the concerns of our hearts. Our problems become bigger to us than his power to solve them for us. He hasn’t allowed things to happen because he’s forgotten about you or he doesn’t care. He’s just waiting for you to lift your head and look up to Him. He never said it would be easy but he promised to be there through it all and trust me He is. I wouldn’t have found the strength to share this if he wasn’t. So cry if you need to but when the tears stop, don’t forget to end with a prayer. Be thankful for the good that is happening and ask God to guide you through the bad. Trust he’ll get you through it even if you don’t know how.


Now that your spirit is working on the inside, it’s time to start working on the outside. Nothing gives you more confidence than good skin but unfortunately water and Vaseline just doesn’t cut it for some of us. Blemish prone skin requires attention at best of times so taking care of it is just as important in your worst times. Your skin care is an opportunity to pamper yourself and focus on the things you can change. Try out some new products and get yourself looking like yourself again. With everything you are going through, having bad skin shouldn’t be another added stress if you can help it.



Good skin care means your make-up goes on even better. Sometimes au naturel is good but when you are not yet feeling 100% yourself, adding a little make-up can make it look like you are. Fake it till you make it! It’s normal to feel good when you look good and that’s what make-up is for – to give you that little extra boost of confidence when you need it most. So wash your brushes, replace your favourite products if they’ve finished and work your magic. Once you’re done, grab one of your wigs, braid your hair or simply put a brush through it and you’re half way there.


The next thing to tackle is your clothes. This may sound shallow to some but I believe that how you dress is a representation of who you are. What is your reason for wearing that? Is it because it’s your style or because it hides parts of your body or draws less attention to you? What you wear should be based on the positive thoughts you have about yourself and nothing else. Wear a certain colour because it compliments your skin and not because it hides you away. The only person you are guaranteed to impress in life is you so never miss out on an opportunity to do that.


Last but not least, get out there! Isolating yourself makes you forget the good in all the madness surrounding your situation. You focus so much on yourself you forget there are other people in your life who care so much about you. With every interaction with others you build strength to deal with what you are going through. It may not feel like it at first but if you have the right people around you you’ll realise that you are not alone in this. Be it a walk, a lunch date or a night out; a few hours of fun and laughter will help you see there is still some good left in your world. So get out there and enjoy it!


Psalm 30:5 ~ “Weeping may endure for a night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

Sometimes things in life happen to shows you the quality of your friends, family and the life you lead. It’s not about what has happened, its about what you do after and how you deal with it that counts.

So dear future self, always remember that hiding away is never the answer. That’s not who you are and you should never forget that. In case you do, let me remind you. Despite your situation you are and always will be a beautiful, talented, loved, loving and extremely blessed woman who should never let a let down keep her down. Learn your lessons and keep it moving. I know it won’t be easy but I’m here to remind you that it will get easier as long as you are willing to keep going. It’s OK to fall but don’t stay down even if it’s the easier option.

As always, I’m proud of you! Keep working on yourself and everything will fall into place.

Lydia x

5 thoughts on “Getting Your Groove Back after a Set Back

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