“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
Dear Future Self,
After a week of roaming around the house in a gown and headscarf avoiding the world, it was finally time to put the last tip I shared on getting your groove back after a set back to work. I was done with feeling sorry for myself and knew I needed to get my mind off the negativity that had been keeping me company over the last few days.
What better way than to attend a random event I found on eventbrite?
I know, not exactly the Stella got her grove back moment but progress is a slow process and anything you can do to help take your mind off your problems is good enough. So, I want to share how attending the Sugar + Style event helped me get my groove back in the most unexpected way.
Sugar + Style is an independent women’s fashion store in the UK with stores located in Brixton, Shoreditch and Surrey.
I saw a listing for their Sugar + Style Spring Party event in Brixton Village and I thought why not. It was free, local and the first 30 guests received a goodie bag. That was good enough!
I’ll be honest I was a little afraid going to the event on my own as I had planned to go with a friend but she was running late. Nonetheless I kept reminding myself why I was doing this. Aside from the free goodie bag, I was doing it for myself. I said I’d do something because I needed to get myself out of this hole I was slowly digging and I wasn’t prepared to let the fear of doing it alone deter me. If I can’t keep the promises I make to myself, why should I expect anyone else to?
So I went. I had no expectations; aside from the goodie bag of course. The fact that I was there was good enough for me. After receiving my goodie bag and a welcome drink I took my time to look around. Unfortunately, none of the clothes were my style but I decided to find something in the store that would keep me from running out the door. I didn’t want to look like I just came for the goodie bag and snacks!
Soon, I gravitated towards the sunglasses which looked just as good in person as they did on the website. With a work trip to Greece coming up, I was sure I’d find something I liked there.
And sure enough I did. I found 2 pairs of sunglasses plus I met a lovely young lady whom I ended up hanging out with for most of the night. We got on so well we even exchanged numbers. What was meant to be a short one hour stay turned into a 3 hour chill out session talking to people I’d never met before, discovering a new store and getting some lovely sunglasses and a goodie bag!
It’s safe to say that night was the start of many nights I hope you will have. Where you challenge yourself to not let fear drive you to the opposite direction from where you want to be. From who you want to be.
Life will always come at you unexpectedly and without warning. You can make all the plans in the world but God will throw in a few plot twists. Not for him to see how you will handle them but for you to see how you can handle them. God already knows every possible outcome there is; He is just waiting on you to choose one.
Fight or flee? That’s what you need to ask yourself every time you are faced with difficulty. When things aren’t going they way you thought they would or should, are you going to fight or flee?
That night I chose to fight. To fight my anxiety, my fear of going to a new place on my own and my need to hide away from the world because of my problems. When you choose to focus on a solution to your problems and not just your problems, you realises just how much power you have over them. Only you can magnify them and let them stop you from enjoying all the good things you have in your life.
When I was talking with the other people at the event, I was present. No one in the room knew about my problems unless I wanted them to. I was meeting new people, talking about fashion and making new friends. Only I could let my problems ruin all of that.
So dear future self, I want you to remember this; never let your problems stop you from enjoying your life. Excuse the cliche but you only live once and no matter what happens in your life, good or bad, I want you to keep fighting. We only say we can’t do something when the option to not do it is there. Fleeing is no longer an option for us.
Never forget that.
I can’t promise there won’t be any more problems or whether they will be easier or harder than the last but what I can promise is that you are more than equipped to handle them. Remember what I did that night, all the emotions I felt, all the problems I was dealing with and how I over came them so I can write this post to encourage you. If I can do it I know you definitely can.
Problems are there to test your strength, temptations are there to test your weakness. You overcame them once and you will continue to do so again and again. So do not wallow in your problems or pretending they don’t exists. Instead, understand that even in the midst of your problems, life should go on. You should go on.
Life, bring it on!