Lifestyle – LYDIA ON LIFE

Mum Bloggers | Where Are All the Black Single Mums?

“It is more substantial to represent a purpose, rather than just a title.” ― T.F. Hodge

Over the last few months of 2019 I’ve slowly started embracing the world of mummy blogging (or mommy blogging for my US people) but it’s not been easy as a black single mum.

“It is more substantial to represent a purpose, rather than just a title.”
― T.F. Hodge

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If you’re new to my blog, then welcome! And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good and slowly getting back to regular posting. As you know being a mum is hard and finding the time to do anything aside from being a mum is even harder. But as always I keep myself motivated as best as I can when it comes to life and blogging.

Over the last few months of 2019 I’ve been slowly trying to embrace the world of mummy blogging (or mommy blogging for my US people). It’s hard to do so when you only have a few readers and very few people see you as a mummy blogger but I’ve decided to not let the opinions of others determine how I see myself. This goes for all aspects of my life, including hobbies such as blogging.

So what is mummy blogging? Mummy blogging is a way for women to create content online about the most challenging and rewarding parts of our lives – being mothers. I stared my mummy blogging journey last year as it helped me get through the postpartum period and the challenges I faced once I was face-to-face with the little human I’d been creating for the last 9 months. Here’s where my journey began if you’re interested.

I’ve accepted that blogging about motherhood is something I love doing and hope to keep doing however as I’ve started this journey, I’ve noticed that there aren’t that many mummy bloggers like me – young, black and single. Why is this? Are they all hiding or am I just looking in the wrong places?

If you do a Google search for ’single mummy blogger’ 99.9% of the results are of women who look nothing like me. Our ‘single mum’ label might be the same but how that label affects us is different, very different. Don’t get me wrong, single motherhood is tough no matter how you look however as we’ve seen in this world, race and culture has a huge effect on our lives, especially in the black community.

It was sad to see so little representation in an area that was so important to me as a single mother and writing enthusiast. There aren’t that many books on the topic of thriving as a black single mum and our stories aren’t always conveyed in a positive light. This bothered me a lot but I was glad to see a few ladies out there making their mark on the blogospheres as independent black single mothers and I wanted to share them with you.

Without further ado, here are some amazing black single mothers with incredible stories about their journey.

The Single Mom Journey is a blog ran by a 40 something-year-old single mum of two named L.C. Like many of us, she uses her blog to share the wisdom she’s gained on topics such as raising kids, relationships, career moves, money matters, faith and inspiration. Her hope is that women, particularly single mums, will use her blog as a forum to be real and share their struggles without judgment. Check out her post on black single mum blogs for more amazing mothers to help you on your journey!

Black Moms Blog is run by Shanicia, a full-time mum of one living in Atlanta. She uses her blog to offer parenting tips, recipes, information about cultural and current events, as well as highlighting black businesses and mums who are making a splash in the business world. Her mission is to provide a place that changes the narrative of what Black motherhood is really all about. Here’s the post that got me interested in her story

Single Black Motherhood is a blog ran by a 26-year old working mother of one named Kim. Like me, she struggled to find millennial, black single mums on the blogosphere or podcastphere (is that a thing? I’m making it a thing) so decided to create her own. On her blog she shares her journey and the things she’s learning along the way in hopes of inspiring other young black single mums out there. How she managed single parenting with two jobs whilst studying is amazing to me and defiantly worth a read.

Sophie-sticated Mum is a blog ran by Dr. Reed AKA Sophia, a 30 something single mother of one and a National Certified Counsellor with a PhD in Human Behaviour (okay mama!). She uses her blog to encourage women to turn their lemons into lemonade and make boss moves whilst putting God first. Her story on how she became a single mother is definite one to read. So inspiring!

Greater Than Mama Blog is run by Briana, a 27 year old single mum of one. She uses her blog to show other mums that you don’t have to stop being you, just to be someone else’s mother. Although she doesn’t claim to have all the answers on how those two sides of motherhood can co-exists, she hopes to figure it out with the rest of us through her blog. Here’s her latest post which I know I’ll be using once Matthew starts day care.

Although I was happy to find these wonderful ladies, I couldn’t help but notice that most if not all of them were from the US. There are around 1.8 million single parents in the UK and 90% of them are women. How many of those are black women, I’m not sure but if I exist, surely there are others? Surely there are women out there like me with a story to tell about their journey?

This thought reminded me why I decided to share my own single parent journey here on Lydia on Life. Not only did I want a place to document my thoughts and experiences but to also connect with other mothers who look like me, talk like me and are dealing with similar life issues as me. I’m glad I was able to find a few but I know there’s more stories out there waiting to be told.

So for now I’ll continue sharing my journey (and anyone else I find) for my own growth so that anyone else who feels the way I do will know they are not alone.

I hope you enjoyed my little list of wonderful black mummy bloggers who are doing it all whilst raising children single handedly and sharing their journey with us. I can’t wait to learn from them and enjoy their content!

Your Turn…

Do you know of any other black single mum bloggers from around the world? Would they be interested in sharing their journey with me?

Let me know in the comments below or on my socials @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I try (emphasis on the try) to post once a week so stay tuned!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Modern Mum | Lydia’s Lazy Lunch #1

If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong.
– Tom Jaine

Having a baby is hard work and trying to find the time to cook as well as eat is even harder when you have to clean, feed, entertain and soothe a 5 month old on minus 8 hours of sleep. As a mum and a human being I don’t ask for much.

After attempting to meal prep, I thought I’d start a series where I share some of the quick meal ideas I use to keep up with the demands of motherhood.

“If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong.”
– Tom Jaine

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Hello!

If you’re new to my blog, then welcome.

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good. After starting Matthew on solids and attempting to meal prep my own food, I thought I’d create a series where I share some of the quick meal ideas I use to keep up with the demands of motherhood.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Between you me and the internet, I hate cooking. *gasp*. What? A woman who hates cooking? Say it isn’t so! But yes it is. I absolutely hate cooking. What I do love is eating and judging by the way Matthew has taken to solid food, so does he. Bottom line is we both love to eat. It’s the part that comes before the eating (and sometimes after) that I have an issue with.

Having a baby is hard work and trying to find the time to cook as well as eat is even harder when you have to clean, feed, entertain and soothe a 5 month old on minus 100 hours of sleep. As a mum and a normal human being I don’t ask for much.

All I want is to be able to eat a home cooked meal at least three times a day whilst it’s still hot and I still have the energy and time to eat it. Is that too much to ask? Unfortunately hiring a personal chef isn’t an option right now and no one (including myself) is able to keep up with the amount of food I need to eat in a day to function. So the next best thing is to meal prep.

And to do just that, I created a set of meals that use less than ten ingredients and take less than 30 minutes to prepare. Now my idea of meal prepping is not fancy or special or anything like that so all you master chefs and come diners please relax on the judgment. My meal prepping is for one reason and one reason only: to keep me alive.

Aside from helping me be more efficient with my time, meal prepping has become a very important means of providing for my son. As a breastfeeding mum, meal prepping means I’m able to keep up with the amount of food intake I need daily to ensure that my son and I are getting all the nutrition we need. That to me is the most important reason for meal prepping. And t’s easier on the wallet too.

But the aim of this post isn’t to convince you about the benefits of meal prepping, Google has that covered. This post is just me sharing an easy fool-proof recipe for those days where you’re feeling too lazy to cook, too broke to eat-out or too busy to stand over a cooker for hours. And for the days where you’re feeling all three at once.

So without further waffle, here is the first recipe from my Lydia’s Lazy Lunch series.

Creamy Bacon & Vegetable Pasta

Serving: 2 portions
Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:
– 200g bacon lardons
– 2 cloves of diced garlic
– 1 teaspoon of mild curry powder
– 1 chopped pepper
– Chopped mushrooms
– Tin sweetcorn (drain water)
– Double cream
– Pasta
– Pinch of salt (optional)

Tools:
– 2 Pots
– Cooking spoon
– Oil

Instructions:

Cook pasta in a pot with boiling water and a little bit of salt to your liking.
Heat oil in another pot and fry bacon, garlic and curry powder for 10 minutes
Add mushrooms, peppers and other vegetables and cook them for 5 minuets
Add the cooked pasta and sweetcorn and mix it all together for 2 minutes
Add double cream and mix for 3 minutes. If you don’t have double cream you can use Philadelphia cheese cream or butter and milk as a substitute (see how here)

Serve and enjoy!

That’s it. The idea for this lazy lunch series is to keep these meals easy when you have a little human to entertain and no extra pair of hands. The ingredients are simple, the steps are short and the food tastes good! At least I think so.

This recipe usually gives me two servings which is enough for me to have for lunch and dinner. Increasing the measurements will obviously increase the portions so it’s all depending on how often you want to cook. I meal prep 3 times a week (Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday) and prepare 2 different meals each time. You could meal prep on one day and just freeze them for the week if you don’t want to cook so frequently. I’ll probably start doing that once I return to work.

However you do it, I hope that you find this meal quick, easy and tasty whether or not you have a little human to look after.

Now that Matthew is 5 months and keen to eat grown up food I’ll need to start prepping his meals too. Stay tuned for more on that and other Lazy Lunch recipes!

Your Turn…

What do you think of this recipe? Would you try it? Do you have any lazy lunch ideas you’d like to share?

Let me know in the comments below or on my Twitter, Instagram and Pintrest.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

10 Movies & TV Shows Perfect for Valentine’s Day on Netflix *

It’s that awkward time of the year again. I’m talking about Valentines Day… *gasp* Dun dun duuuun.

For most of us it’s a day of flowers, chocolates and Instagram worthy dates but for me it’s a little different. I’m single and I’m a mum. Not exactly the ideal candidate for this time of the year. Or am I?

It’s that awkward time of the year again. I’m talking about Valentines Day… *gasp* Dun dun duuuun.

For most, it’s a day of flowers, chocolates and Instagram worthy dates but for me it’s a little different. If you’ve read my pregnancy journey post then you will know why. So when I received an e-mail to work with Panasonic (HD television company)* about a post on TV shows that are perfect for Valentine’s Day I thought, okay, this could be interesting.

What movies and television shows would be perfect for a single mama like me on this fine day of romance and romantic love?

Thanks to Panasonic, I was inspired to find some and I wanted to share them with you. If you’re like me then hopefully these should keep us off social media for 24 hours where our singleness isn’t always appreciated. I’m all about turning lemons into lemonade. Can I get a Amen!

Okay let’s start with the movies.

BirdBox – (2018) – A mysterious force decimates the population by taking the form of their worst fear. If they see it, they die. In an effort to stay alive, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey to safety whilst blind folded. Will they make it? Starring Sandra Bullock, John Malkovich and Mr fine ass himself Trevante Rhodes. (Thriller)

And Breath Normally (2018) – Due to unforeseen circumstances, the lives of two women (a struggling Icelandic single mother and a Guinea-Bissauan asylum seeker) intertwine. A bond between them form as they strategise to get their lives back on track. Will they succeed? Starring Kristín Þóra Haraldsdóttir and Babetida Sadjo. (Drama)

Been So Long (2018) – Set on the streets of London’s musical hot-spot, Camden, a dedicated single mother is charmed by a handsome stranger with a troubled passed whilst on a night out. Is she ready to open up her heart again or will this new relationship end in disaster? Starring Michaela Coel and Arinzé Kene. (Musical)

Bad Moms (2016) – When three overworked and under-appreciated mums are pushed beyond their limits, they ditch their conventional responsibilities for a jolt of long overdue freedom, fun and comedic self-indulgence. Can these mums handle it? Starring Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn and Kristen Bell. (Comedy)

Mummy Dearest (2014) – A dedicated yet intrusive mother struggles to keep in touch with her five adult children. After the loss of his friend’s mother, the youngest and most unresponsive child travels back home on a journey of self-discovery and reconciliation. Will this make or break their relationship? Starring Liz Benson and Daniel K. Daniel. (Nollywood)

Now that’s what I call variety!

Let’s move onto the TV shows.

The Letdown – New mother Audrey needs help with the new addition to her family, so she joins a support group for new parents. While attending meetings, she makes quirky friends who are facing their own challenges and life changes. Will she be able to cope? Starring Alison Bell, Duncan Fellows and Leon Ford . (7 Episodes)

Greenleaf – On the surface, the Greenleaf family, who run a sprawling Memphis megachurch called Calvary Fellowship World Ministries, appear to have it all. However, the scandals, the secrets and the lies they share will taint their perfect world. Can they redeem themselves? Starring Lynn Whitfield and Keith David. (4 Seasons)

One Day At A Time – Follows the life of Penelope, a newly single Army veteran, and her Cuban-American family, as they navigate the ups and downs of life. With a teenage daughter, tween son and an old-school mother on hand, Penelope has a lot going on. How will she handle it all? Starring Justina Machado and Isabella Gomez (3 Seasons)

Sex Education – A socially awkward high school boy who’s mother is a sex therapist teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school. What could possibly go wrong? May not be one to watch with the kids around, ey. Starring Asa Butterfield, Gillian Anderson and Emma Mackey. (2 Seasons)

Friends – Does this really need a summary? Friends is a great TV show that never gets old and I won’t hear a bad word said about it. I’ve had Phoebe moments, Monica moments and now I’m having a Rachel moment (Season 8). Every storyline is relatable. Which Friend are you? Starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow. (10 Seasons)

And that’s it, that’s my list of movies and TV shows perfect for Valentine’s Day if you’re single and just so happen to be a mum too.

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Aside from sharing some movie and TV show ideas, I also wanted to use this opportunity to highlight movies which represent mothers in different ways. Single mother or not, representation matters and I was delighted to find some of that in both TV and film. Hopefully in future there will be more positive representation of single mothers.

So, is watching Netflix the only thing I plan to do on Valentines Day? Guess we’ll have to wait and see in the next post. But for now remember that if you’re a single mum like me or single in general, Valentines Day is just as much for you as it is for everyone else so enjoy it! I know I will.

Your Turn…

What are some TV shows or movies you’re watching on Netflix right now? Have you seen any of the ones I’ve mentioned? Should I do a single dad’s edition? Would you like a review on these movies?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

P.S: My Christmas PJ’s were the best Christmas gift to myself! So comfortable and convenient for this UK weather. 🙂

Mum Blogger| Am I Changing Anything This New Year?

“You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
― Philip Pullman

“You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
― Philip Pullman

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If you’re new to my blog, welcome to my online home.

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing great. I’m currently sat on my toilet writing this post because, well it’s comfortable…kinda. It’s the one place I can let loose (literally) and be my absolute unashamed self. It’s also the one place I’ve found myself feeling creative and flowing with ideas. Weird, right? I’ve thought (and sang) some of my best work whilst in the bathroom but by the time I’ve gotten to a more “appropriate” room to write them all down, they’ve either disappear or just aren’t flowing as well as they were in the loo. This must be a sign, right? Or maybe I’m weird. Either way, I’ve learned as a new mum, you have to do what you have to do to get things done. Even if it means doing them whilst in the toilet.

But my choice of writing rooms isn’t why I’m writing this post. Oh no! It’s more exciting than that…I think.

I’m writing this post because I’ve decided to make a slight change to this little corner of the internet I call my blog. It’s been playing on my mind for a while now but I wasn’t quite sure whether it was for me and whether I really wanted to do it or not. After scheduling all of my December posts I felt a little flat when I started working on my January posts. I wasn’t as excited about the content I planned to put out so instead of posting I took sometime out to rethink the direction I’d like my blog to go.

I didn’t want to start the new year by putting out content for the sake of it or content I wasn’t really excited about. I actually want to enjoy writing and reading what I put out. Then the lovely Jenna over at jennasworldview.com tagged me in a twitter post which I took as a sign to stop thinking about it and just do it. I love me some signs! And so I decided to take the plunge and just do it. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe I shouldn’t say that…

Anywho, can you guess what it is? No, it’s not the new layout, although I am really in love with it. Looks rather nice don’t you think?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

Drum roll!

Lydia on life is officially becoming a….mummy blog! Tadaaaaaaa…

Okay, a little anticlimactic I know. I probably should have stuck to talking about the new blog layout but becoming a mum blogger seemed more exciting to me. If you’re still reading this then hopefully you feel the same way.

Some of my readers might have already thought of my blog as a mummy blogger since I spent like a month talking about my pregnancy, delivery and recovery but that was just me venting and expressing. I didn’t think it would be as therapeutic as it was nor did I think I’d enjoy it that much but I did. So much so that I was like hmmmmm, why don’t I just focus on this part of my life.

Aside from it being the biggest part of my life right now, it’s also become the most exhausting, worrying and exciting bit too. And I’d like to share it with anyone who wants to listen. I mean, I usually do in person so why not online?

This part of my life has also highlighted to me the lack of representation for women and probably men in my situation. I searched high and low for months trying to find someone like me, who was going through what I was going through and I was shocked to not find as many as I thought there would be. Have I been looking in the wrong places or is everyone hiding? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I’m here and I have the amazing opportunity to share my journey so I’m taking it.

I once heard someone say if you can’t find a tree, be the tree. That someone was me, I said that. I made it up as a way of motivating myself and more often than not it worked. What I’m trying to say is be the change you want to see if you can’t see it. Don’t just complain about it, be about it.

I’m a young single black woman, raising a child whilst learning to co-parent and build a career and although I never saw myself in this situation, it’s happened and I’m learning how to deal with it. I am in no way saying my story is unique or that I even know what I’m doing. I just believe that you don’t have to be unique or know what you are doing to share your story. You just have to be willing to share it. #everystorymatters.

The little I’ve shared on this blog has certainly help me and if it can help someone else then great. If it doesn’t then at least I know it’s helping one person; me.

You can be your own worst enemy or your greatest saviour. Choose wisely.

So long story short, I’m still Lydia on life, just more emphasis on the mum life now #mummyblogger #mommyblogger for my US people dem. I don’t know why I felt the need to announce this but guess it makes it more real when it’s written down somewhere on the internet. It also serves as an introduction to the content I have planned for the next few months. I’m so excited!

If you’ve made it this far in the post, why are we not friends already? Let’s work on that…

May God bless you and I hope you’ll stick around. If you do, I encourage you to interact with me and join me on this journey. I’m winging it and learning as I go along. I know sharing it on the internet is subject to some criticism (especially being a single mum) which I’m fine with. In fact, I welcome open and honest conversations about motherhood and parenting in general – online and offline.

However, I ask you to remember that it’s okay to agree to disagree as long as we do it with respect. Sing it with me, R E S P E C T, I’ll tell you what that means to me. It means, live your life and allow me to live mine. And don’t judge me for writing about it from the comfort of my toilet seat, which by the way has proven to be very successful. Think I’ve found my new writing room.

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talks.

Your Turn…

Where do you feel most comfortable writing? How did you decide on what to write about?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

P.s: Happy New Year! (Is it too late to say that?)

Mum Blogger | Why Did You Start Blogging About Motherhood?

“You only grow by coming to the end of something and by beginning something else.” ― John Irving

Now that Christmas is over I’m stuck in this weird phase where all the days till New years seem to just mush together. Tell me I’m not the only one that feels like that?

 If I’m honest I’ve felt like that for the last few months.

“You only grow by coming to the end of something and by beginning something else.”
―
John Irving

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If you’re new to my blog, welcome. And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me I’m doing pretty good. Christmas was amazing, I made Christmas dinner for the family for the first time I am so proud of myself. I probably wont do it again next year but I’m still happy I can tick that off my bucket list. People that do it every year, I solute you.

Now that Christmas is over I’m stuck in this weird phase where all the days till New years seem to just mush together. Tell me I’m not the only one that feels like that?

If I’m honest I’ve felt like that for the last few months. Since going on maternity leave I’ve pretty much lost track of what day in the week it is. It’s probably why I started working on my blog so much. I needed something to add to my life. Don’t get me wrong, my life is busy enough with a baby to look after. I just didn’t want it to be the same. I wanted something that was just for me and that made my days feel a little different and blogging has always done that for me.

I use this space to escape a little bit and share my life with someone other than my dribbling 3 month old. He is a good listener though but I guess you would be when you’re the topic of conversation.

If you’ve been keeping up with my posts I’m pretty sure by now you’re sick of hearing about my pregnancy and delivery ( #mummyblogger) but at least now you know my story and perhaps understand my journey more. After all this blog is called lydiaonlife.com and well motherhood is part of my life now. A huge part which took a lot of adjusting to and I wanted to share that.

It’s been a crazy few months and I’ve enjoyed talking about my journey into motherhood because it’s helped me reflect on what I’ve been through. As I put those words down I was able to really comprehend my experience and realise the kind of woman I am, the kind of woman I’m becoming and a glimpse into the kind of woman I can be. Sometimes we need to write down our thoughts to really understand them and I’m so glad I have a place to do that.

These past few posts have been more so for me than for you and I don’t think I plan on changing that. However, I do hope that some how they’ve helped you out in whatever way. Whether it’s given you a glimpse into another experience, comforted you about your own experience or just provided you with some entertainment, I hope you’ll stick around for more in the new year.

I’m embarking on a new chapter in my journey – actually attempting to raise the little human that has changed my life in so many ways and I’m excited to share it. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for Lydia on life both online and offline.

Till next time.

I wish you and amazing start to the New year and I’ll see you on the other side!

Love always,
Lydia x

My Reverse Bucket List

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not…” ~ Epicurus

We all have a bucket list, right? Whether mentally or somewhere on a piece of paper, we’ve all sat down and thought about the things we’d like to achieve in our life time. But sometimes this list can leave us feeling a little overwhelmed and often becomes a reminder of all the things I haven’t done.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

Epicurus

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Luckily the blogosphere has offered an alternative way of thinking about bucket lists known as a reverse bucket list. A reverse bucket list is a mindfulness exercise where you write down all the things you feel proud of over a given period of time. Pretty simple, right?

Many of the reverse bucket list posts I read were of what people had accomplished throughout their lives. Which is what you’re supposed to do (I think). However, as my 26th birthday has just passed I thought why not write down all the things I’ve accomplished in the last 12 months leading up to my 26th birthday. It’s not because I think I’ve done more in the last 12 months than I have done in my whole 26 years of existing. It’s because I believe it’s very easy to overlook the small but significant things we achieve in 12 months when we compare it to several years. Narrowing the time gives us a unique perspective on how we spend our time, don’t you think?

We are constantly told that we should be upgrading, planning, dreaming; always setting our sights on something better. That’s great and all but what about the things we have already done? A reverse bucket list reminds us to take time out from thinking about the future to self-reflect and show gratitude to our past.

So what did I feel proud of doing in the last 12 months?

Working for an amazing company
Getting a second pay rise in one year
Learning how to budget and save
Ridding a horse in Bulgaria
Going to Kenya alone for the first time
First one in my family to travel on the SGR from Nairobi to Mombasa alone
Taking pictures with a giraffe in Mombasa
Going to Greece
Turning 26 and celebrating it in Greece
Getting my project management qualification
Finding out I’m pregnant with my first child
Learning how to knitting a blanket for the new addition to the family
Getting over a break-up during a very difficult time
Maintaining strong friendships that have lasted years
Growing spiritually
Finding comfort in my own company
Remaining strong during the hard times
Continuing working on my blog

Some might look at this list and think “nah, that’s not special enough” or “everyone has done that“ but this isn’t about being special or comparing to anyone else. This list is about looking at where I’ve been in the last 12 months and being grateful to have the opportunity to achieve what I’ve achieved in that time. Meaningful moments come in all sizes.

It’s important for us to take time to be grateful for the opportunity to accomplish something we are proud of no matter how big or small. Remember that your achievements are yours to acknowledge, celebrate and embrace. Never compare them to anyone else or overlook them because they don’t seem big enough.

Just as buckets lists can make us look forward to the future, a reverse bucket list ensures we don’t forget the past. Some of those past achievements were once on our bucket list.

I don’t know what’s in store for the next 12 months but I’m excited and I can’t wait to share those moments.

In the mean time, please enjoy a few snaps from my trip to Greece. Hopefully I’ll take better pictures on my next travel adventure.

Till next time.

Love always,
Lydia x

When You Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

If you’ve been keeping up with my latest posts then you may know I’ve been going through something. I’m still going through it and I’ve not quite figured out how to share it on here. I will at some point.

But for now, I’m focusing my energy of getting out of it. I’ve cried over it, I’ve prayed about it and now I’m ready to step out of it.

“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Roy T. Bennett

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But for now, I’m focusing my energy of getting out of it. I’ve cried over it, I’ve prayed about it and now I’m ready to step out of it.

Part of me stepping out of my little bitty party that I’d been having for the last two weeks was to actually step out. As in pull myself together and go out side. I could have just gone out for a walk or visited a friend but I wanted to do something different. I wanted to go somewhere where I wouldn’t have to think or speak about what I was going through. I needed something to distract me, even if it was for a few hours.

I don’t know why I decided to look for a blogging related event but I did and found one on eventbrite. It was near by, free and come with a goodie bag. Need I say more? It was exactly what I needed.

The event I’m talking about was the Sugar + Style Spring Party event in Brixton Village. I’d never heard of this boutique before but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. We’re all about trying out new things and stepping out of our comfort zone, right? What better way to do it than to go somewhere you’ve never been to discover a brand you’ve never heard of. And I’m so glad I did.

Going to this event help me fight my anxiety, my fear of going to a new place on my own and my need to hide away from the world because of my problems. No one in the room knew about my problems and I didn’t have time to think about them. I was too busy meeting new people, talking about fashion and making new friends. By being present at the event I could feel myself slowing getting my mojo back. My problems didn’t seem so big any more. Plus, networking has never really been my thing so I wasn’t sure how I’d deal with it at this event. But I did and I did it all on my own. No friend to cling on to or a large crowd to hid in. Just me, my bag of nerves and my determination to overcome them.

And I’m proud to say I did. I overcame my fears and left the event feeling renewed, refreshed and excited to try on the things I got. I was starting to feel like myself again and I couldn’t wait to go home and look for more events to go to.

Wallowing in your problems or pretending they don’t exists never help. Instead, its important to understand that even in the midst of your problems, life should go on. You should go on. We should use our problems as fuels to help us refocus instead of allowing them to blind us from our potential. Problems will always be there, its how you deal with them that matter.

So thank you Sugar + Style for having the event! You helped me get my groove back and look stylish whilst doing it.!

Here are a few pictures that I snapped from the event.

I can’t wait to go to a few more events like this. Anyone want to invite me? Promise to work on my photography in the meantime.

Till next time

Love always,
Lydia x

6 Things To Do In Mombasa, Kenya

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes.

If you’ve been following me on Instagram and Twitter you’ll know I recently went to Kenya to visit my family. Whilst I was there, I went to Mombasa to…

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

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If you’ve been following me on Instagram and Twitter you’ll know I recently went to Kenya to visit my family. Whilst I was there, I went to Mombasa to see a friend who moved there after getting married last year. K and I went to her wedding so this wasn’t my first time in Mombasa, however I did experience a lot of firsts. First time travelling alone, which I shared in my last post. First time taking a train in Kenya, or any other African country for that matter. First time going to a spa in any country, and so much more.

It was a memorable trip for me and I wanted to share the things I did whilst I was there.

SGR Train

Usually I’d take a 1-hour flight from Nairobi to Mombasa but this time I took the new SGR train which was introduced last year. I’d never been on a train in Kenya before so I thought why not experience it whilst I’m here. With my suitcases and lunch in hand I took an Uber from my uncles home to catch my 9:00am train at Nairobi Terminus.

For the first 2 hours of my journey I caught up on some much needed sleep and spent the other 3 gazing out of the window. The SGR runs through the Tsavo National Park before reaching its final destination, Mombasa so I had the pleasure of seeing animals, villages and agriculture go by from the comfort of my seat. From monkeys and zebras to farms and Masai villages, the view was amazing. Not bad for £6 (700ksh)!

Once I landed in Mombasa Terminus my friends’ driver was waiting for me at the entrance. You bet I was feeling bad and boujee as he took my bags and walked me to the car. But I probably looked more bad than boujee after a 5-hour train ride. We arrived at my friends house 30 minutes later and the screams of joy began as we were finally reunited! She gave me a tour of her fabulous home whilst her lovely maid took my stuff to the guest room. First a driver, now a maid? My girl was living lavishly in Mombasa. I could go on and on about how amazing her new life is but I’m trying to watch my word count. But to sum it up she has a driver, a maid, a cook, a beautiful home, a lovely husband and on top of that she wakes up to this view ever morning.

It’s still sinking in.

The Beach & Yuls Restaurant

Whilst her cook prepared dinner, we made our way to a hotel on the beach to meet her friends and go for a little walk. Honestly I’ve never felt softer sand in my life! As we strolled along the beach, the light breeze kept us cool in the hot temperatures and the view of the sun setting over the beach was amazing. Ah take me back! We even saw a lady having her maternity shoot on the beach! It was truly a beautiful place to be.

Along the beach there’s a restaurant called Yules which although I didn’t go to this time, it will always be in my places to go list. The venue offers water sports, food, ice cream and nightlife right on the beach. K and I had dinner here on our final night in Mombasa last year where we had a fillet Mignon for the first time. I now understand the hype; it was so good! And did I mention the beach view? I can’t wait to go back!

Nguuni Animal Sanctuary

The next day we went to Nguuni Nature sanctuary which is home to giraffes, ostriches and a variety of birds. Seeing them however proved to be a little difficult for us. We arrived just in time for the sunset but unfortunately the giraffes had already gone away from the feeding area and the ostriches were hiding somewhere. Lucky for my friend’s persistence (and a little bribing), the gate keeper managed to bring the giraffes to us but we weren’t able to feed them as the food had already finished. We took some cute pictures though and the sunset was so worth the hassle! We’ll feed the giraffes next time and hopefully see the ostriches too.

Maisha Spa

We decided to pamper ourselves by getting a spa treatment the next day at the Maisha Spa in Serena Beach Hotel. Now, I’d never been to a spa before, not even in London, so I was excited for the experience. We booked a full body massage which lasted about 1 hour and to be honest it was a bit of a painful 1 hour for me. The masseuse was really working every knot and though I let out a few (silent) moans of pain, my moans of pain may have been interpreted differently by the masseuse. It wasn’t all bad though. Once the massage was over I did feel lighter and wasn’t in any pain at all surprisingly. The head massage was glorious, best part of the massage! The girls thoroughly enjoyed their session so guess it was just me. I now know to request a lighter handed massage next time.

The spa it’s self is really beautiful and tranquil and the staff are friendly too so I have no idea why I was scared to say go easy on me. They gave us a complementary soft drink as part of our treatment whilst we took some Instagram worthy pictures. Do it for the gram!

Boko Boko Porini Restaurant

After an intense but relaxing massage, we headed to the Boko Boko Porini Restaurant. The Porini Restaurant is known for its mix of traditional coastal food and Seychellois spices. From ugali and chapatti to their beef stew and famous Porini Chicken with tamarind juice, everything there was finger licking good. I’m salivating as we speak! We had to order an hour before we arrived as they usually take a long time to prepare the food but it was worth the wait. believe me, the picture does not do it justice. To top it off, the restaurant is amidst a tropical garden and home to two giant Aldabra tortoises. Unfortunately, they were hiding under some trees when we arrived due to the rain so guess I’ll have to wait till next time to see them properly.

Misono restaurant

On my final day in Mombasa my friend took us to Misono for some authentic Japanese food. The only Japanese restaurant I’d been to before was Benihana in London and to be honest Misono was miles better. From the atmosphere and the food, to the cute chef that prepared our food in front of us in the open plan seating area. Everything was perfect! The variety in the set menu was so tasty and filling we all struggled to finish the last dish. If you follow me on Snapchat, you’d know the struggle. Misano set the bar high for Japanese restaurants.

And that was it! My trip to Mombasa was short but very sweet. It was wonderful seeing my friend and spending some quality time with her discovering Mombasa. I can’t wait to go back to Kenya and see what else it has to offer.

I hope this post has given you some ideas on places to go in Mombasa and encouraged you to discover your own land beyond the touristy things.

If you’ve been to any of these places or know of some more places to visit in Mombasa please feel free to leave them in comment section below.

Stay tuned for the next post.

Love,
Lydia x

Why You Should Travel Alone

“Some journeys in life can only be travelled alone.” ~ Ken Poirot. It’s been 2 weeks since I got back from my trip to Kenya and what an experience it was. For those of you who don’t know, I was born in Kenya then moved to London when I was 5 years old. Since then, I’ve travelled back a hand full of times (three to be exact) and each time I’ve either travelled with family or friends. So for my fourth time back I decided to try it on my own.

“Some journeys in life can only be travelled alone.”

Ken Poirot

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It’s been 2 weeks since I got back from my trip to Kenya and what an experience it was. For those of you who don’t know, I was born in Kenya then moved to London when I was 5 years old. Since then, I’ve travelled back a hand full of times (three to be exact) and each time I’ve either travelled with family or friends. So for my fourth time back I decided to try it on my own. I spent 1 week visiting family in Nairobi and Naivasha, then another week visiting my best friend in Mombasa.

Though travelling with family and friends can be a wonderful and incredibly rewarding experience, I believe it’s important to travel alone at least once in your life. Especially when it comes to travelling “back home”. I use the term back home loosely as I’m not sure if Kenya is really more than just a place I was born. My inability to speak my mother tongue fluently and the fact that I didn’t remember a lot of the people or places there reminded me just how far removed I am from Kenya. Is it really my home? Those 5 years I lived in Kenya seem so vague to me that I almost feel like a fraud calling it my home.

And that’s what travelling on your own does. When you venture out into the world on your own, it allows you to face up to who you are, what you’re about and what matters to you. It teaches you things about yourself you didn’t know and forces you to grow up a little.

Though I was staying with family and friends, the fact that I was able to plan my own trip and get myself there and back alone safely (without losing anything) was important fto me. It not only boosted my confidence in my own abilities but also helped me create vivid memories of Kenya because I was present in every moment, not just a by-stander. Most importantly my family back in Kenya was able to meet the 25 year old young woman I’ve become without my mother holding my hand.

I used to think I could never go back to Kenya to live there, but after travelling on my own I can see it being possible. Someday…

Whatever your motivations are for travelling I want to encourage you to try it alone even just once. It doesn’t have to be a completely new place, it’s about creating new experiences and new memories even in the places you’ve already been to. Life is too short and unpredictable to not seek out new experiences and make the most of the time we have now.

It’s never too late to build new memories in old places.

Stay tuned for my next post where I’ll share with you the things I got up to on my trip to Mombasa. From feeding giraffes to eating Japanese food and waxing!

In the meantime, please feel free to leave your thoughts, comments and questions below.

What was your experience travelling alone for the first time? Where did you go? What did you learn?

Love,
Lydia x

10 YouTubers That Changed My Hair Journey

Whoopi Goldberg looked like me, she had hair like mine. I’d been starved for images of myself.” – Lupita Nyong’o.
I’ve been natural for about 10 years now and it’s only in the last 3, I have really started to understand and…

“Whoopi Goldberg looked like me, she had hair like mine. I’d been starved for images of myself.” – Lupita Nyong’o

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Welcome to Lydia on Life

The decision to stop chemically straightening my hair was basically made for me when I was in secondary school. My mum was tired of the process and I was tired of managing the constant changing textures. Within 3 weeks of perming my hair the regrowth would come back so soon we struggled to keep up with the frizz. Despite my hair being thick enough to handle the chemicals, my mum knew if we continued it would eventually damage my hair. Nobody wants that! So in year 9 (age 14) my mum decided to stop with the perming and start with the learning.

Lucky for me I grew up around people who could help me maintain my hair despite not understanding how to take care of my natural hair. From random hair sessions in the playground and after school to weekends spent at an aunt’s house or the hair dressers. I did what I could to maintain my 4C thick and curly hair. After a few years of getting my hair done by someone else I decided to learn the trade for myself. Saving some money and gaining more knowledge on my hair didn’t sound like a bad idea to me.

Thank God for YouTube! I could kiss Chad Hurley, Steve Chen and Jawed Karim right now.

Watching video after video and practising on myself and anyone that would let me, I learned how to do basic styles and tailored them to my liking. Natural hair is a mystery to a lot of people and I’ll admit it takes a long time to truly understand it. It’s kinky but soft, its oily yet coarse, you can have more than one texture and don’t get me started on the shrinkage!

I’ve been natural for about 10 years now and it’s only in the last 3, I have really started to understand and appreciate my natural hair. I love rocking my natural hair but it’s taken a lot of self-confidence to allow me to ignore certain views society has on black natural hair. I’ve had my fill of comments like “your hair is huge” (am I rocking a bush on my head?) or my personal favourite; touching my hair whilst asking “can I touch it?” (am I a pooddle?)

I get a lot of these comments (at work and other places) but as a black woman you kind of get to these comments. I choose to take them as compliments despite how uncomfortable I may feel at times.

We go through a lot of challenges as women whose naturally frizzy hair may not necessarily fit society’s standards of beauty. I could talk about that for ages but we’ll save that debate for another post. It’s not an easy thing to deal with, but it’s worth dealing with it if your natural hair is what you want. Kinks and all!

If you are going to embark on this journey (and trust me, it’s a journey) you will need a little help and a lot of inspiration along the way. I know I did!

So I thought I’d share with you some of the YouTubers who have helped me and are still helping me along my journey.

Here we go!

Isimeme Edeko

YouTube: Halfafrican Beaute
Twitter: @halfricanbeaute
Instagram: @halfricanbeaute

April Bee

YouTube: April Bee
Twitter: @aprilbeee_
Instagram: @aprilbeee_

Danyelle

YouTube: MsDanti1
Instagram: @msdanti

Kim

YouTube: TheChicNatural
Instagram: @thechicnatural

Janaé Mason

YouTube: Janae Mason
Instagram: @nae2curly

Kerry

YouTube: SimplYounique
Intagram: @1simplyounique

Anneka Mclean

YouTube: Lovelyanneka
Instagram: @lovelyanneka

Shantania Beckford

YouTube: Shantania Beckford
Twitter: @ShantaniaBeckfd
Instagram: @shantania_beckford

Jess

YouTube: OnlyOneJess
Instagram: @onlyonejess_

Chiaka Valentina

YouTube: ChiakaValentina
Twitter: @chiakavalentina
Instagram: @chiakavalentina

What I gained from these beautiful and talented women was the knowledge to maintain my hair but i had to tailor what the information they provided to suit my specific type of hair. For example a lot of the products they incorporated into their routine weren’t necessary for my hair (or I couldn’t find them in the UK) so I had to find alternatives. This took some trial and error but it was worth it because I managed to grow my hair whilst keeping it healthy.

I did that by listening to my own hair – what it liked, what it didn’t like and how much attention it needed. You’ll be surprised how much your hair cooperates when it gets what it wants. Aren’t we all like that anyway?

Every hair is different and what works for one person may not work for another, but it’s worth trying, right? What you learn from trying is knowledge that will be useful to you and someone else.

One of my goals for 2017 was to reach bra strap length hair and in June 2017 I achieved that. You can too if you take the time to learn how. Hopefully once I get used to this blogging thing I’ll share some of the products I use and routines that have helped me so far. There are people out there with far much longer and thicker hair than me but that’s their hair and this is mine. They shared their story and I’ve learned from them so why not share mine.

I hope this has been helpful to you in some way and be sure to check these ladies out.

Till next time!

Your Turn…

Have you been on a hair journey? What have you learned?

Share your experiences, questions and tips with everybody in the comments below or get in touch with me via…

Twitter: @lydiaonlife
Instagram: @lydiaonlife
Email: lyd iao nlife@gmail.com

If you have your own favourite natural hair YouTubers or websites, please feel free to share them too. I’m also on the hunt for a good natural hair salon in London so please let me know if you have any recommendations.

Love,

Lydia x