Life Update | Babies, Break-ups and Blogging?

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Eckhart Tolle

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted anything new on here but after a much needed break I’m back doing what I love. To mark my return I thought I’d share a little little life update on what’s been going on and what I have in store for my little corner of the internet.

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Eckhart Tolle

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It’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted anything new on here but after a much needed break I’m back doing what I love. To mark my return I thought I’d share a little little life update on what’s been going on and what I have in store for my little corner of the internet.

But first, how are you? How is life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good. A lot has happened since I last posted. Some good, some bad and some just plain old unexplainable but I’m in a much better place now than I was a few months ago. Life hit me and it hit me really REALLY hard. I was never fully ready to share the specifics both online and offline because it’s hard to do so when you’re in the midst of the chaos. Every time I wanted to say something, the words failed me. I didn’t know where to start or how to start or if I should even start. So I didn’t. Instead, I had many days of crying and feeling sorry for myself until eventually I found the strength to get my groove back. Things weren’t okay but I knew they’d be okay. Eventually. Then I took a little 4 month break to gather myself and my thoughts and just enjoy the good moments that were happening instead of dwelling on the bad.

I told myself that once I got it together I’d return and write a life update post and share my journey because I believe it’s part of the recovery process. It’s a slow and painful process but it’s worth sharing because someone else might be going through the same thing and need to know that they are not alone. That it’s normal to feel how you feel and it’s possible to get through it no matter how hard it might be. Sometimes that’s all the encouragement we need.

So without further ado here is little life update on what’s been going on. Are you sitting comfortably?

BABIES

I’ll start with the biggest and most amazing thing of all that’s happened to me in the last 5 months. On 17th September at 7 something in the morning I become a mum to the most handsome little boy named Matthew. I say little but he weighed a healthy 7.3 pounds which is quite big so I’ve been told. I too was a big baby so I wasn’t too surprised. I delivered him via an emergency caesarian section (c-section) which I was not prepared for at all! I’ll go into more detail about my pregnancy, delivery and recovery in another post but for now I’m so excited to share this wonderful news. I’m officially a mama! Whoooop! It still hasn’t really kicked in yet that I am someone’s mum and I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it anyway and I’m falling in love with him every single day whilst at it. I’m anxious but excited to spend the rest of my life trying to keep his little behind alive, healthy and happy!

BREAK-UPS

The next update is that sadly the start of this amazing new chapter in my life was met with an unexpected end to my relationship with Matthew’s father. I’ve spoken about him a few times on here during our relationship and I never in a million years thought it would end like it did, but it did. We broke up in February and I went through the entire pregnancy without him. It’s crazy how things can change so quickly but that’s life. Things change, people change and you just have to deal with it as best as you can. I was fortunate to have support from my amazing family and friends which I thank God for every single day. I don’t know how I would have coped without them.

At some point I’ll share the experience with you as I feel it’s important to share both life’s ups and downs, however for now I want to continue focusing on the good that came out of our relationship – Matthew. He’s taken all my pain and disappointment away and I know that everything happens for a reason. I didn’t understand it at first but I get that now. I’m so much more happier and excited for the future ahead.

BLOGGING

Last but not least, is my blog. They say behind every dark cloud there’s always a silver lining. Or something like that. Well, I think I may have found my silver lining. My life has taken an amazing but unexpectedly turn and I’d like my blog to a reflection of that. After all this is Lydia on Life, right? I’ve spent a lot of time talking about self love and self development on my blog amongst other things and that has helped me get through everything that’s happened so far this year. Because of that, I know I want to continue sharing my journey. I’m now a single young woman and also a new mum and I want to share my thought’s and experiences as I try to navigate and balance this new life. I have so much to learn and even more to give and it’s all thanks to Matthew. He has given me a new perspective on myself and life and has made me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. I’m ready for whatever lies ahead and I want to share it all right right here.

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So yup, that’s my life update so far. As you can see I’ve been going through quit a bit of change and though it hasn’t been easy, I thank God everyday for it. I went through it, I got through it and I’ve come out the other side smiling because of it.

Life is very unpredictable and at times can be very uncomfortable. But I read a quote from Mokokoma Mokhonoana that said ‘comfort rarely produces great art’. Out of my uncomfortable I want to produce great art. I want my experience to bare fruits that will be used as encouragement for those (including myself) that may find themselves in that place of doubt again. I want to show whoever stumbles across my blog that you are more prepared to take on life’s struggles than you think you are. You may not feel like it but trust me you are. Just be patient with yourself. You cannot celebrate a victory if you’ve never been to war.

So I wrote this to not only give you a life update but to remind you that no matter how long or how dark the tunnel might be, keep going because there is light at the end of it. It might seem far, it might not even look like it’s there but trust me it’s there. Use that time to grow, develop and overcome the obstacles that will come along the way. It won’t be easy or painless but in the end you will be able to say you made it.

I don’t know what’s in store for the future but I’m excited for it anyway.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

20 Things I Learned in 2017

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard.

2017 was a fun year full of more ups than downs and a lot of lessons. I wanted to share some of those with you as we begin the new year! As always, this is going to be a long one so please bare with me. What did 2017 teach me?

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Søren Kierkegaard

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2017 was a fun year full of more ups than downs and a lot of lessons. I wanted to share some of those with you as we begin the new year! As always, this is going to be a long one so please bare with me.

What did 2017 teach me about…

Blogging

“I decided that as long as I enjoy what I write, I am a writer for an audience of one.” ~ The Slumflower

  • Writing is a long process – It’s not easy to put down your thoughts in a way that others will understand and it takes time, patience and practice. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
  • Second guessing yourself never works – You miss out on learning yourself when you don’t trust yourself enough.
  • Quality over quantity – Rushing to post something for the sake of keeping to a schedule can result in the message in your post being lost. Your authenticity is worth the time.
  • Your growth is more important – Don’t get caught up in seeing your blog grow at the risk of not seeing yourself grow. Numbers are great but not as important as your growth.
  • It’s OK to experiment – You are made up of so many wonderful things and you must explore each one to see what truly makes you happy.
Career & Finance

The speed of your success is limited only by your dedication and what you’re willing to sacrifice” ~ Nathan W. Morris

  • Be open minded to your possibilities – If you don’t know how to do it today then learn it today so you can do it tomorrow.
  • Invest in yourself – You are the only key to your success and you are responsible for you. Use your money and time on working on you first.
  • Take a chance – You don’t always have to be completely ready for something, just do it and see what happens. Sink or swim you will learn something.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help – Knowledge is power. You are surrounded by people and places that know things that you don’t so use it to your advantage.
  • Be thankful every single day – Finances and a career determine the quality of your life. Be thankful everyday that you are blessed to have both.
Travelling

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust

  • Solo travelling isn’t for everyone – And that’s OK.
  • Know what you want out of your trip – If it’s relaxation you want then make sure you get that. It’s your money and time being spent too.
  • Take more pictures – Memories may fade but pictures last forever. Don’t ever miss an opportunity to capture a moment in time.
  • Find ways to make your travel easy from start to finish – With every trip you should learn something that will make your next trip easier.
  • Travel more – Don’t just travel abroad. Get to know the world you have access to – even the world outside your front door.
Beauty

To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself.” ~ Simone de Beauvoir

  • Beauty starts with you first – Loving and treating yourself better should be your priority and you don’t need validation or permission from anyone else.
  • Make-up is an accessory not a necessity – You do not need make-up. It’s nice but it’s not a must. End of discussion.
  • Deal with one skin problem at a time – Isolate your problems so you can figure out which solution works for which problem. You can’t fix it all at once.
  • Be consistent and be patient – Find a routine that works and use it till it stops working, then try something else.
  • Drink water – You might pee a lot but your skin will thank you for it.
Personal Development

Let him who would move the world first move himself.” ~ Socrates

  • If you are not passionate about it, it’s not for you – You are wasting valuable energy that could be used for what you really need to focus on. Don’t force it.
  • Set realistic goals – If the environment you are in isn’t set up to support your goals then you are setting yourself up to fail.
  • Work with what you have – There is nothing wrong with wanting more but you have to be able to work with what you have first to get what you want.
  • Procrastination kill dreams – Leaving things till tomorrow means you are choosing to be further away from your dream than you should be.
  • Don’t let the internet rush you – Make the most of where you are without pressure from anyone but you. All that glitters is not gold.

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There are plenty of lessons to be learned throughout the year. Some old, some new, some bad and some good. Whatever the year brings, embrace it and learn from it.

So thank you 2017. You’ve been good to me and taught me so much. I cannot wait to take on 2018 with the things I have learned!

What are some of the lessons you’ve learned in 2017? Let me know in the comments below.

Till next time!

Love,
Lydia x

Staying Motivated When Starting Something New

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz.
I don’t believe that anyone can stay motivated all the time especially when you are doing something for yourself. At least not in the real world. The lack of desired results can demotivate even the most ambitious individual so it’s important to take the steps needed to help you remain motivated and avoid falling into the pit of self-doubt. Here are the steps I’m taking.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”  ~ Lou Holtz

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Hello.

Guess who’s back, back, back,
Back again, again, again
Lydia’s back, back, back
Tell a friend, friend, friend

No seriously, tell a friend because your girl Lydia is back and feeling better than ever!

You probably don’t know but I am so proud of myself to still be doing this. One thing I’ve struggled with is perseverance when things aren’t going the way I’d hoped they would. It’s said that most people who start blogs quit within the first 3 months and yet nearly 11 months later I’m still here, struggling but I’m still here.

Every girl needs a Stella got her groove back moment and boy did I need it.

I’ve had a few of those since starting my blog. I’m trying out something new to me, completely on my own with no guarantee it will work. No one said it would be easy no matter how many “How To Start A Successful Blog” posts you read (and trust me I’ve been reading).

During my Stella moment, I tried to see if I could find a step by step strategy on how to organise your life to reach your goals. From blogging goals to life goals, I Googled my butt off. Though I found some useful tips, there was no fool proof plan available. Unless I’ve just been looking in the wrong places…? I’d like to think I haven’t and that these Stella moments I keep having are all part of the process.

I don’t believe that anyone can stay motivated all the time especially when you are doing something for yourself.  At least not in the real world. The lack of desired results can demotivate even the most ambitious individual so it’s important to take the steps needed to help you remain motivated and avoid falling into the pit of self-doubt.

Though I can’t grantee I won’t have any more Stella moments, I will endeavour to make this blog work for me.

Here are some of the steps I’m taking to stay motivated:

Have clear goals in mind

Knowing what you want is the first step to getting what you want. For my blog, I want to find my voice. To be in a place where I feel as though my content is a true reflection of me. For my blog to grow as I grow. As for my life, I want to enjoy it and make use of every opportunity I’ve got to make a positive difference in both my life and those around me.

Surround myself with positive inspiration

Have things around you such as people, books, blogs, songs, food, images and anything that encourages you towards your goals. Focus on the things that are geared towards your goal and use them as reinforcements for your current situation rather than comparing yourself to them.

Write and read my goals often

Write the vision down making it plain so that he that reads it may run with it’ – Habakkuk 2:2.
It’s important to write down goals so that they become tangible reminders of why you started and where you want to go.

Have a support system

When I started this blog no one around me knew about it until a month ago. I was afraid of what they would think but as I received the support from strangers on the blogosphere I realises how important it is to have people around you who support you. Family, friends, colleague and like-minded people that are willing to encourage you on this journey can be great motivators. K was the first person I told about my blog and his reaction and support gave me the confidence to tell other people.

Just doing it!

All the support you receive will be worth nothing if you don’t make a move and take the step now. Use the excitement generated by your goals, your inspiration and your support system to make something happen. A step forward is better than no step at all. All you need is one step at a time.

I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out (not even close) but I am working on it.

This was just a PSA to my 60 or so readers that I’m back and on a quest to do better. With patience, persistence and time I’ll get the hang of it.

As I share my progress, I hope it encourages you to keep going and stay motivated.

Your Turn…

What are some of the things you find difficult when it comes to blogging? How do you stay motivated?

Please leave your thoughts, comments and questions down below!

Love,
Lydia x

What I Learned in My First Post-Graduate Job

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ~ Wayne Gretzky.
Last week March 7th marked my 1 year anniversary at my first post-grad job. I feel like I only started a few months ago yet I’ve grown so much since then. Professionally, personally, financially and socially. With 12 months under my belt, I thought this would be a good time to share the little knowledge and wisdoms I’ve gained over the past year.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  ~ Wayne Gretzky

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Last week March 7th marked my 1 year anniversary at my first post-grad job. I feel like I only started a few months ago yet I’ve grown so much since then. Professionally, personally, financially and socially. With 12 months under my belt, I thought this would be a good time to share the little knowledge and wisdoms I’ve gained over the past year.

1) Soft skills are more important than your hard skills. Apart from managing my dissertation at university, I’d never done any project management related work. However, the soft skills that I had made it easier for me to grasp the concept of project management in the real world. Have a willingness to be the best at what you do even if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing can take you far.

2) Nothing will make sense at first. Unless you’ve been there done that and bought the post card, you’ll feel like a fish out of water. From the jargon used during meetings to socialising with co-worker, you will feel a little alien but will soon settle after a few months.You’re in a new environment so it will take some time to adapt but trust  me it will happen. You don’t have to force it.

3) It’s OK not to know. Asking questions is your new weapon. Even stupid questions. It’s better to ask a stupid question than to make a stupid mistake. You can’t play the I don’t know card for long if you want to progress. But think about the question before asking.

4) It’s OK to say no. Being the unqualified newbie, you want to please everybody. That should include yourself. Know your limits and make sure it is known by others. If you are valued then your time should also be valued. A justified no is better than a regretful yes.

5) 24 hours just isn’t enough. Working 9 to 5 will make you realise just how little time you have for yourself. How did my mum do this plus go to university and raise 3 kids?  This will make you realise the true importance of organisation skills and why diaries are so useful.

6) Clients will always think they are right. No matter how mistaken the client is, they are never allowed to feel your frustration even if they show it to you. You must always control your emotions and learn to articulate your frustrations in the nicest way. It takes practice and a lot of proof-reading (from you and others). Don’t let anyone (especially clients) cause you to step out of character because you are responsible for your actions, not them.

7) Your manager is your confidant. If there is one person in the office you should be confiding in about your work it should be your manager. They should have your best interest at heart and are in the position of making things happen that can make your work life easier. If you can’t confide in them about work then they shouldn’t be managing you.

8) It’s not all about the money. Your first job should really be about experience more than money. Don’t turn away an opportunity just because of money. If I did, I wouldn’t be doing a job I’d never done before and loving a company I’d never heard of before. Learn to crawl before you can walk and soon you will be climbing.

9) Money does help. At first it may not be about the money but once you have some experience and grow as a person you start to understand your value. You now have some experience to back up the salary you expect and the confidence to get it. If you focus on being the best, the money will come to you. Your job should not only repay you but reward you for the work you do.

10) Speaking gets easier. Whether it’s speaking in a meeting, to a client or participating in office banter; the freedom to express yourself appropriately gets easier after a few months. It’s not a popularity contest in the real world. Your work speaks louder than your words. As you gain more confidence in the work you do, your words will find confidence too.

11) Every mistake is knowledge. When I’ve made a mistake I’ve never forgotten it. Why? Because failure is the best teacher. You’ll make mistakes during the first few months but slowly you’ll see how your mistakes turn to knowledge that prevent others from making the same mistakes.

12) Culture fit/match is a big deal. You may like the work you do and how much you make but the company culture makes a huge difference. Finding a company that fits with your culture will make the Monday mornings and late nights much more bearable. You’ll find that your work-life balance is easier to manage and lessons 1 – 11 become much easier to grasp in a company culture that fits with you.

Going into the real world isn’t easy. When you finish university, you’re launched into a world you feel is too grown up for you. A world that reminds you just how much you don’t know. You can no-longer hide behind the fancy words on your CV or the grades you got at university. You are put to the test – as a graduate and a person.

Though going into the real world isn’t easy; with the right support system, attitude  and vision, it isn’t hard either.

A lot can happen in 12 months and I’m excited for what the next 12 months will bring. Will I still be in the same role, at the same company with the same positive vibes I have today? We’ll see.

Your Turn…

What was the most important lesson you learned from your first entry-level job? What advice would you give to someone starting out in their career?

Get in touch, tweet me @lydonlifeblog or share your experiences and tips with everybody in the comments.

Till next time.

Love,
Lydia x | https://lydonlife.wordpress.com

P.s: Here are some other articles I found interesting on first job lessons:

Getting a Job After University

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions” ~ Benjamin Franklin.
Getting your first post graduate job is not easy and it’s even harder for those who have no work experience to back-up their degree. A survey conducted by YouGov found that 52% of employers say university does not prepare young people for the world of work. As a graduate who was in the rat race to get a job last year, that figure is all too real for me. So what has the experience taught me?

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions” ~

Benjamin Franklin

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Getting your first post graduate job is not easy and it’s even harder for those who have no work experience to back-up their degree. Universities never talk about that part, do they? A survey conducted by YouGov found that 52% of employers say university does not prepare young people for the world of work. As a graduate who was in the rat race to get a job after graduating last year, that figure is all too real for me.

You’d think that after the blood, sweat and tears and promises of employment, getting the job would be a piece of cake. Think again. It’s months of job application after cover letter after CV editing. Then there’s the rejection e-mails or complete silence. That’s the part I hate the most; the silence. Did they get my application or am I just being impatient?

I was fortunate enough to go on a placement year during my course but even still, that did not protect me from the frustration that is job hunting as a recent graduate.

It’s a hard knock life for us but I’m here to encourage you that with a little faith and persistence it gets better.

I currently work as a Project Manager for a software development company which I never applied for. After months of job hunting, I was getting discouraged and wanted to give up but I knew the current job I was doing wasn’t one I could build a career on. Plus, I’d spent too long at university and incurred too much debt to give up.

So I kept applying and one day I received a call from a recruiting agency that found my CV on a job board. I had no idea which job board since I’d applied to so many but I didn’t care. They told me they had a vacancy for a Project Manager role and explained what I’d be doing. I had no idea what the company did nor did I understand the role but I thought why not. I mean, they called me so they must think I’m capable, right? After asking me a few questions they invited me for an interview where I’d have to take an excel test. He asked me if I’d be comfortable with that to which I replied yes. I mean it’s just excel and I have a degree in software engineering so how hard could it be?

Oh it can be very hard, especially when you have no idea what you’re doing. I could have told them I didn’t know but then that would have meant admitting that I lied on my CV about my expert knowledge in Microsoft Office product. So I just sat there thinking “Jesus take the wheel!”.

And trust me He did. Long story short, the computer crashed which meant I couldn’t take the test. Hallelujah!

We swiftly moved on to the rest of the interview which was easier as I had months of practice from all the job applications I’d done. That’s the beauty of job hunting, every application is an experience that will equip you for the next one. It’s not a fun process but it does develop you. I felt a lot more confident talking about my CV and experience because I had done that so many times before. It was practically engraved in my head by now.

That was by far the best interview I’d had and it was for a role I felt I wasn’t qualified to do. Go figure!

Hours later, I found out I got the job. Now I work with some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, in a company I didn’t know existed a few months ago.

What this experience taught me was the importance of keeping a positive mind and taking a leap of faith. Especially when it comes to finding a job after university. With all the rejections I’d been receiving over the months, I could have said no to this interview since I didn’t even understand what the job role was. But I didn’t. I saw this as a character building experience and that’s how the job hunting process should be seen.

A university degree is good but just don’t rely on it alone. It’s just a tool, not the whole tool box. Getting out there and facing the world is what really prepares you for the world.

My 12-month review is due this March. Perhaps I’ll share with you what I’ve learned in 12 months of my first post-grad job.

How was your experience finding your post-grad job? Do you have any tips/advice on how to climb up the career ladder?

Let me know in the comments below.

Love,
Lydia x

Your 20s | Expectation vs. Reality

“Honour the space between no longer and not yet.” — Nancy Levin.. See no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke and your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear and it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year. Sound familiar?

Honour the space between no longer and not yet.

Nancy Levin

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See no one told you life was gonna be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke and your love life’s D.O.A. It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear and it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year. Sound familiar?

Yes, those are the lyrics to the Friends theme song but they are also the perfect way to sum up life in my twenties. I didn’t realise how good I had it in my teenage years before bills, boyfriends and talks of babies. While all of our secondary school years were spent looking forward to my twenties, now that I’m finally here, it feels a little underwhelmed. I was warned that life wasn’t going to be a bed of roses but there were a few things I expected to have sorted out by now.

Here are just a few of them.

Expectation: Finally feeling mature and grown up

Reality: Mature and grown up? What is that? At 25 years old, you still have no idea what that means. You feel more like a teenager now than you did when you were 18 years old. You legally became an adult at 18 but not sure what happened mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically (still waiting for the glow up). Without your parents or Google, you probably won’t even be functioning right now.

Expectation: Flawless skin

Reality: Adult acne. Acne is for teenagers they said. It’s part of puberty they said. It will go away they said. Well, they were wrong. Adult acne is a thing, a real life thing that a lot of people experience in their twenties (and beyond). The worst part is that it appears more in women than men due to periods, pregnancy, cosmetic products and a whole list of other female related issues. Great.

Expectation: A high flying job straight after university

Reality: I shared a post on how I got my first proper job after university. Have a read when you get the chance. If you want the short version, it’s months of job hunting, rejection letters, frustrations and reaching to a point where you are ready to settle for anything. That student loan isn’t going to pay for itself.

Expectation: Sleep eight hours, exercise daily and get to work on time looking fabulous

Reality: There is not enough hours in a day to do all that. If anyone tells you otherwise, its a lie. You’ll be lucky to get 5 hours of sleep every night or have the energy to exercise every day. Getting to work on time and looking fabulous are choices that you will rarely get to fulfil at the same time. It’s either one or the other unless you don’t mind getting dulled up on the train.

Expectation: Travelling the world with friends

Reality: You can’t even successfully organise a lovely dinner with your group of friends. Trying to organise anything with a large group of friends is more difficult now than it was in your teens. You all have more commitments and responsibilities than you have time. You’ll soon realise that your friends are just as disorganised as you. Travelling alone doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

Expectation: Shopping in Gucci, Fendi, Prada, Versace

Reality: More like Primark, H&M, New Look and website that sells clothes from China. The designer wardrobe you thought you’d have in your twenties is nothing close to what you actually have. With plans for a house, a fancy car and saving for the future, designer bags are no longer a priority. Plus your still waiting for your fashion sense to catch-up to your age and decide what it wants to be.

Expectation: Keys to your first home

Reality: You’ll probably still be living at home with your parents and you know what, there’s no shame in that. The price to buy a home in London now is ridiculous and renting isn’t any better. So instead you’ll feng shui the bedroom you’ve spent most of your 25 years in to try and make it look a little more “grown up”. It’s the punishment you get for spending your student loan instead of saving it.

Expectation: Driving a fancy car

Reality: Cheap used cars. They’re not sexy but they get you from point A to B without breaking the bank. Being sexy is nice and all but not if it means being broke. Buying a luxury car can make you broke if you are not financially stable. And who is finally stable in their twenties? No one, thats who. At least not the majority. So a 10 year old banger will do and you will learn to love it.

Expectation: Having fun plans for the weekend

Reality: Sleep. Clean. Eat. Repeat. And in that order. After working 9 to 5, five days a week, the weekend couldn’t come sooner. Not because you have some amazing plans but because you have some amazing sleep to catch up on. Plus theres the other adult stuff to do like laundry, housework and food shopping. If it’s not pay day weekend, there is no energy or money for cocktails and parties.

Expectation: Getting married

Reality: More like getting tired of trying to find the least creepiest dating app. You’ll soon realise that men are no more mature now in their twenties than they were in there teens. Nonetheless there’s still the pressure to find one that is husband material because it seems like the next thing to do. Everyone else around you seems to be doing it. Peer pressure doesn’t stop in your teens.

At least that’s how the first half of my twenties has gone so far.

Life in your 20’s can feel very, very, VERY messy. We spend our teen years defining it only to realise how unrealistic a view we had. The pressure we put on ourselves to fulfil those expectation can leave us feeling underwhelmed even before we’ve reached halfway.

Some people get to enjoy their 20’s exactly the way they imagined it whilst others take it as it comes. Either way your happiness about your 20’s shouldn’t be attached to the things you cannot control. Instead, attach it to the things you can control and take everything as a learning experience because where you are is not your final destination.

Being an adult isn’t a stage, it’s a process that has no end. Things change, people change and you will change. You have to adapt to those changes. It doesn’t happen overnight or even over several years so just enjoy the process as it’s happening. It’s called adulting.

I’ve still got another 5 years left of my 20’s and if I’ve learned anything, it’s to use that time wisely and have fun as much as I can. It will be over before you know it!

What expectations did you have of being in your twenties?

Let me know in the comments below.

Love,
Lydia x

P.s: I was today years old when I found out what D.O.A means and that I’ve been singing the Friends theme song all wrong this whole time!