Mum – Page 2 – LYDIA ON LIFE

Life Update | Babies, Break-ups and Blogging?

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Eckhart Tolle

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted anything new on here but after a much needed break I’m back doing what I love. To mark my return I thought I’d share a little little life update on what’s been going on and what I have in store for my little corner of the internet.

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Eckhart Tolle

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But first, how are you? How is life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good. A lot has happened since I last posted. Some good, some bad and some just plain old unexplainable but I’m in a much better place now than I was a few months ago. Life hit me and it hit me really REALLY hard. I was never fully ready to share the specifics both online and offline because it’s hard to do so when you’re in the midst of the chaos. Every time I wanted to say something, the words failed me. I didn’t know where to start or how to start or if I should even start. So I didn’t. Instead, I had many days of crying and feeling sorry for myself until eventually I found the strength to get my groove back. Things weren’t okay but I knew they’d be okay. Eventually. Then I took a little 4 month break to gather myself and my thoughts and just enjoy the good moments that were happening instead of dwelling on the bad.

I told myself that once I got it together I’d return and write a life update post and share my journey because I believe it’s part of the recovery process. It’s a slow and painful process but it’s worth sharing because someone else might be going through the same thing and need to know that they are not alone. That it’s normal to feel how you feel and it’s possible to get through it no matter how hard it might be. Sometimes that’s all the encouragement we need.

So without further ado here is little life update on what’s been going on. Are you sitting comfortably?

BABIES

I’ll start with the biggest and most amazing thing of all that’s happened to me in the last 5 months. On 17th September at 7 something in the morning I become a mum to the most handsome little boy named Matthew. I say little but he weighed a healthy 7.3 pounds which is quite big so I’ve been told. I too was a big baby so I wasn’t too surprised. I delivered him via an emergency caesarian section (c-section) which I was not prepared for at all! I’ll go into more detail about my pregnancy, delivery and recovery in another post but for now I’m so excited to share this wonderful news. I’m officially a mama! Whoooop! It still hasn’t really kicked in yet that I am someone’s mum and I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it anyway and I’m falling in love with him every single day whilst at it. I’m anxious but excited to spend the rest of my life trying to keep his little behind alive, healthy and happy!

BREAK-UPS

The next update is that sadly the start of this amazing new chapter in my life was met with an unexpected end to my relationship with Matthew’s father. I’ve spoken about him a few times on here during our relationship and I never in a million years thought it would end like it did, but it did. We broke up in February and I went through the entire pregnancy without him. It’s crazy how things can change so quickly but that’s life. Things change, people change and you just have to deal with it as best as you can. I was fortunate to have support from my amazing family and friends which I thank God for every single day. I don’t know how I would have coped without them.

At some point I’ll share the experience with you as I feel it’s important to share both life’s ups and downs, however for now I want to continue focusing on the good that came out of our relationship – Matthew. He’s taken all my pain and disappointment away and I know that everything happens for a reason. I didn’t understand it at first but I get that now. I’m so much more happier and excited for the future ahead.

BLOGGING

Last but not least, is my blog. They say behind every dark cloud there’s always a silver lining. Or something like that. Well, I think I may have found my silver lining. My life has taken an amazing but unexpectedly turn and I’d like my blog to a reflection of that. After all this is Lydia on Life, right? I’ve spent a lot of time talking about self love and self development on my blog amongst other things and that has helped me get through everything that’s happened so far this year. Because of that, I know I want to continue sharing my journey. I’m now a single young woman and also a new mum and I want to share my thought’s and experiences as I try to navigate and balance this new life. I have so much to learn and even more to give and it’s all thanks to Matthew. He has given me a new perspective on myself and life and has made me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. I’m ready for whatever lies ahead and I want to share it all right right here.

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So yup, that’s my life update so far. As you can see I’ve been going through quit a bit of change and though it hasn’t been easy, I thank God everyday for it. I went through it, I got through it and I’ve come out the other side smiling because of it.

Life is very unpredictable and at times can be very uncomfortable. But I read a quote from Mokokoma Mokhonoana that said ‘comfort rarely produces great art’. Out of my uncomfortable I want to produce great art. I want my experience to bare fruits that will be used as encouragement for those (including myself) that may find themselves in that place of doubt again. I want to show whoever stumbles across my blog that you are more prepared to take on life’s struggles than you think you are. You may not feel like it but trust me you are. Just be patient with yourself. You cannot celebrate a victory if you’ve never been to war.

So I wrote this to not only give you a life update but to remind you that no matter how long or how dark the tunnel might be, keep going because there is light at the end of it. It might seem far, it might not even look like it’s there but trust me it’s there. Use that time to grow, develop and overcome the obstacles that will come along the way. It won’t be easy or painless but in the end you will be able to say you made it.

I don’t know what’s in store for the future but I’m excited for it anyway.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

10 YouTubers That Changed My Hair Journey

Whoopi Goldberg looked like me, she had hair like mine. I’d been starved for images of myself.” – Lupita Nyong’o.
I’ve been natural for about 10 years now and it’s only in the last 3, I have really started to understand and…

“Whoopi Goldberg looked like me, she had hair like mine. I’d been starved for images of myself.” – Lupita Nyong’o

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Welcome to Lydia on Life

The decision to stop chemically straightening my hair was basically made for me when I was in secondary school. My mum was tired of the process and I was tired of managing the constant changing textures. Within 3 weeks of perming my hair the regrowth would come back so soon we struggled to keep up with the frizz. Despite my hair being thick enough to handle the chemicals, my mum knew if we continued it would eventually damage my hair. Nobody wants that! So in year 9 (age 14) my mum decided to stop with the perming and start with the learning.

Lucky for me I grew up around people who could help me maintain my hair despite not understanding how to take care of my natural hair. From random hair sessions in the playground and after school to weekends spent at an aunt’s house or the hair dressers. I did what I could to maintain my 4C thick and curly hair. After a few years of getting my hair done by someone else I decided to learn the trade for myself. Saving some money and gaining more knowledge on my hair didn’t sound like a bad idea to me.

Thank God for YouTube! I could kiss Chad Hurley, Steve Chen and Jawed Karim right now.

Watching video after video and practising on myself and anyone that would let me, I learned how to do basic styles and tailored them to my liking. Natural hair is a mystery to a lot of people and I’ll admit it takes a long time to truly understand it. It’s kinky but soft, its oily yet coarse, you can have more than one texture and don’t get me started on the shrinkage!

I’ve been natural for about 10 years now and it’s only in the last 3, I have really started to understand and appreciate my natural hair. I love rocking my natural hair but it’s taken a lot of self-confidence to allow me to ignore certain views society has on black natural hair. I’ve had my fill of comments like “your hair is huge” (am I rocking a bush on my head?) or my personal favourite; touching my hair whilst asking “can I touch it?” (am I a pooddle?)

I get a lot of these comments (at work and other places) but as a black woman you kind of get to these comments. I choose to take them as compliments despite how uncomfortable I may feel at times.

We go through a lot of challenges as women whose naturally frizzy hair may not necessarily fit society’s standards of beauty. I could talk about that for ages but we’ll save that debate for another post. It’s not an easy thing to deal with, but it’s worth dealing with it if your natural hair is what you want. Kinks and all!

If you are going to embark on this journey (and trust me, it’s a journey) you will need a little help and a lot of inspiration along the way. I know I did!

So I thought I’d share with you some of the YouTubers who have helped me and are still helping me along my journey.

Here we go!

Isimeme Edeko

YouTube: Halfafrican Beaute
Twitter: @halfricanbeaute
Instagram: @halfricanbeaute

April Bee

YouTube: April Bee
Twitter: @aprilbeee_
Instagram: @aprilbeee_

Danyelle

YouTube: MsDanti1
Instagram: @msdanti

Kim

YouTube: TheChicNatural
Instagram: @thechicnatural

Janaé Mason

YouTube: Janae Mason
Instagram: @nae2curly

Kerry

YouTube: SimplYounique
Intagram: @1simplyounique

Anneka Mclean

YouTube: Lovelyanneka
Instagram: @lovelyanneka

Shantania Beckford

YouTube: Shantania Beckford
Twitter: @ShantaniaBeckfd
Instagram: @shantania_beckford

Jess

YouTube: OnlyOneJess
Instagram: @onlyonejess_

Chiaka Valentina

YouTube: ChiakaValentina
Twitter: @chiakavalentina
Instagram: @chiakavalentina

What I gained from these beautiful and talented women was the knowledge to maintain my hair but i had to tailor what the information they provided to suit my specific type of hair. For example a lot of the products they incorporated into their routine weren’t necessary for my hair (or I couldn’t find them in the UK) so I had to find alternatives. This took some trial and error but it was worth it because I managed to grow my hair whilst keeping it healthy.

I did that by listening to my own hair – what it liked, what it didn’t like and how much attention it needed. You’ll be surprised how much your hair cooperates when it gets what it wants. Aren’t we all like that anyway?

Every hair is different and what works for one person may not work for another, but it’s worth trying, right? What you learn from trying is knowledge that will be useful to you and someone else.

One of my goals for 2017 was to reach bra strap length hair and in June 2017 I achieved that. You can too if you take the time to learn how. Hopefully once I get used to this blogging thing I’ll share some of the products I use and routines that have helped me so far. There are people out there with far much longer and thicker hair than me but that’s their hair and this is mine. They shared their story and I’ve learned from them so why not share mine.

I hope this has been helpful to you in some way and be sure to check these ladies out.

Till next time!

Your Turn…

Have you been on a hair journey? What have you learned?

Share your experiences, questions and tips with everybody in the comments below or get in touch with me via…

Twitter: @lydiaonlife
Instagram: @lydiaonlife
Email: lyd iao nlife@gmail.com

If you have your own favourite natural hair YouTubers or websites, please feel free to share them too. I’m also on the hunt for a good natural hair salon in London so please let me know if you have any recommendations.

Love,

Lydia x

L’Oreal Pure Clay Detox Mask | Does it Work?

“Be good to your skin. You’ll wear it every day for the rest of your life” – Renée Rouleau. I love skin care. With skin problems such as mild acne, large pores, hyperpigmentation and a whole list of other impurities I could do without, I have to love skin care. It’s a battle I’ve been having since puberty. Now that I’m in my mid-twenties, I can afford to invest in better quality products. But will they work?

“Be good to your skin. You’ll wear it every day for the rest of your life” – Renée Rouleau

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I love skin care. With skin problems such as mild acne, large pores, hyperpigmentation and a whole list of other impurities I could do without, I have to love skin care. It’s a battle I’ve been having since puberty. Now that I’m in my mid-twenties, I can afford to invest in better quality products and take the steps needed to get my skin to where I want it to be.

The first step I took was to stop wearing make-up to work. This was a big step for me but it was something I needed to do to truly start this healthier skin journey I’m on. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to go a week with no make-up at all and still feel as confident as I do with make-up. Baby steps.

The second step was to invest in better skin care products. I’ve always been into skin care but never spent the money needed on good skin care. I’d always look for a cheaper alternative. This worked for me sometimes but more often than not I either didn’t see any results or things get worse. Much worse.

So, last week on my usual trip to Superdrug I decided to buy the L’Oreal Pure Clay Detox Mask. It was on offer and I’ve heard Patricia Bright mention it a few times as part of her skin care. I’m a fan of hers and since she liked it, I thought why not try it.

LOreal has 3 masks in their pure clay range – a purity mask, a detox mask and a glow mask. The detox mask is used to detoxify and clarify the skin

L’Oreal claim that by using the detox mask, you should see instant and lasting results:

Immediately – skin is pure and cleaner
In one week – Skin feels fresher and luminous
Use after use – skin can breathe and is visibly transformed

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

The clay smells nice and isn’t too thick or too runny. It’s easy to apply and feels lovely on the skin as you apply it. I applied it using my fingers and I felt a slight tingle or stinging sensation. This could be due to the fact that my face had just been washed and I didn’t have any product on it so it was very dry. I usually get that feeling when I wear face masks so it wasn’t alarming. Does that happen to you? Or it could have been all the impurities getting rattled. Who knows.

I applied it all over my face avoiding the eyes and mouth area and waited for 15 minutes. It says you should leave it on for 5-10 minute but I got carried away writing the intro for this post I lost track of time. It wasn’t uncomfortable when it was drying and I was able to speak without feeling like my face is about to crack.

WASHING OFF THE MASK

I decided to use warm water as I don’t like using cloths on my face unless I’m patting my face dry. It took about 5 minutes to get everything off and there was no mess in the sink. Yay!

AFTER WASHING THE MASK

My face didn’t feel that different to how it felt before putting the mask on. I did feel as though there was residue on my face (a waxy kind of feeling) but nothing alarming. My face wasn’t as dry as it was before but it still felt dry so again nothing significant to rave about.

PURE AND CLEARER SKIN?

Well I’m not sure what they mean by that. My spots were still there. I even found a new one but I wouldn’t put it down to the mask (probably time of the month approaching). I wouldn’t say my skin looked or felt pure either (whatever that means). I could see the pores around my nose and my skin looked pretty much the same as before. So no it didn’t purify and clear my face immediately. Perhaps I’ll notice a different over time.

The box didn’t say what I should do after the mask so I used the Nip+Fab Glycolic Fix night pads and then put the Garnier Moisture Bomb Tissue Mask. My face has been really dry lately and since it was a pamper yourself kind of day for me I thought why not.

Would I use the L’Oreal Detox Clay Mask again?

Well It cost me £5 and I still have a full jar left so yes, I would. A little bit of the products goes a long way which is nice. Nothing bad happened to my skin so I’ll probably use it for the next 3 days before going to Venice and see if anything amazing happens. If I like what I see I’ll continue using.

OVERALL RATING

I’d give it a 5/10 since it didn’t really do what it claimed it would do immediately. However, it didn’t break me out and I might see results after continued use so I can’t completely disregard it. After a week, I’ll give an update on whether I experienced any noticeable difference. If I do, I might invest in their other 2 masks.

Wish me Luck!

Your turn…

Have you tried their clay masks before? Which one of the 3 have you tried? What were your results? Would you recommend it? What other clay masks have you tried? Would you recommend them?

Let me know by sharing your questions, experiences and tips with everybody in the comments.

Till next time.

Love,
Lydia x

Getting a Job After University

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions” ~ Benjamin Franklin.
Getting your first post graduate job is not easy and it’s even harder for those who have no work experience to back-up their degree. A survey conducted by YouGov found that 52% of employers say university does not prepare young people for the world of work. As a graduate who was in the rat race to get a job last year, that figure is all too real for me. So what has the experience taught me?

“To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions” ~

Benjamin Franklin

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Getting your first post graduate job is not easy and it’s even harder for those who have no work experience to back-up their degree. Universities never talk about that part, do they? A survey conducted by YouGov found that 52% of employers say university does not prepare young people for the world of work. As a graduate who was in the rat race to get a job after graduating last year, that figure is all too real for me.

You’d think that after the blood, sweat and tears and promises of employment, getting the job would be a piece of cake. Think again. It’s months of job application after cover letter after CV editing. Then there’s the rejection e-mails or complete silence. That’s the part I hate the most; the silence. Did they get my application or am I just being impatient?

I was fortunate enough to go on a placement year during my course but even still, that did not protect me from the frustration that is job hunting as a recent graduate.

It’s a hard knock life for us but I’m here to encourage you that with a little faith and persistence it gets better.

I currently work as a Project Manager for a software development company which I never applied for. After months of job hunting, I was getting discouraged and wanted to give up but I knew the current job I was doing wasn’t one I could build a career on. Plus, I’d spent too long at university and incurred too much debt to give up.

So I kept applying and one day I received a call from a recruiting agency that found my CV on a job board. I had no idea which job board since I’d applied to so many but I didn’t care. They told me they had a vacancy for a Project Manager role and explained what I’d be doing. I had no idea what the company did nor did I understand the role but I thought why not. I mean, they called me so they must think I’m capable, right? After asking me a few questions they invited me for an interview where I’d have to take an excel test. He asked me if I’d be comfortable with that to which I replied yes. I mean it’s just excel and I have a degree in software engineering so how hard could it be?

Oh it can be very hard, especially when you have no idea what you’re doing. I could have told them I didn’t know but then that would have meant admitting that I lied on my CV about my expert knowledge in Microsoft Office product. So I just sat there thinking “Jesus take the wheel!”.

And trust me He did. Long story short, the computer crashed which meant I couldn’t take the test. Hallelujah!

We swiftly moved on to the rest of the interview which was easier as I had months of practice from all the job applications I’d done. That’s the beauty of job hunting, every application is an experience that will equip you for the next one. It’s not a fun process but it does develop you. I felt a lot more confident talking about my CV and experience because I had done that so many times before. It was practically engraved in my head by now.

That was by far the best interview I’d had and it was for a role I felt I wasn’t qualified to do. Go figure!

Hours later, I found out I got the job. Now I work with some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, in a company I didn’t know existed a few months ago.

What this experience taught me was the importance of keeping a positive mind and taking a leap of faith. Especially when it comes to finding a job after university. With all the rejections I’d been receiving over the months, I could have said no to this interview since I didn’t even understand what the job role was. But I didn’t. I saw this as a character building experience and that’s how the job hunting process should be seen.

A university degree is good but just don’t rely on it alone. It’s just a tool, not the whole tool box. Getting out there and facing the world is what really prepares you for the world.

My 12-month review is due this March. Perhaps I’ll share with you what I’ve learned in 12 months of my first post-grad job.

How was your experience finding your post-grad job? Do you have any tips/advice on how to climb up the career ladder?

Let me know in the comments below.

Love,
Lydia x