personal – LYDIA ON LIFE

“Don’t live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.”

Germany Kent

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I’m fortunate enough to work for a company that allows me to work from home when I want and as often as I want. This luxury has been a God send for the past 2 weeks. I’ve been dealing with a lot lately and my only comfort was locking myself in my room hoping it will somehow sort itself out. But we all know life doesn’t work like that.

I’m not ready to speak about it just yet but I am ready to get back on my feet and back to myself again. I spent about a week and a half living in my gown and head scarf working from home because it was easier than finding the strength to face the world. Dramatic, I know but that’s exactly how I felt. The idea of answering questions like “Hows everything going?” or “You feeling okay?” was something I didn’t want to deal with. I was drained emotionally, physically and I couldn’t answer those questions without crying. I wasn’t okay. Everything wasn’t going well but I didn’t have the strength to admit that to people so I hid.

After 2 weeks I got tired of hiding. I didn’t like what it was doing to me. I was neglecting my skin, my hygiene was a little questionable and I don’t think I’d put a comb through my hair in days. Food was the last thing on my mind and crying was the only thing that helped me get through each day.

Then one day I’d had enough. I came to the realisation that none of this was doing me any good. By spending my time and energy focusing on my problems I was neglecting myself. I was letting myself go instead of letting go of aspects of myself that no longer served me. Yes, I was dealing with a lot but failing to care for myself wasn’t going to make it all go away.

So I decided to do these 5 things which gave me the boost I needed to get back to myself again.

SAY A PRAYER

Sometimes we get so lost in our problems we forget that there is a God who knows the concerns of our hearts. Our problems become bigger to us than his power to solve them for us. But when you stop and take a moment to pray, something happens. A subtle shift in us happens. This shift gives us just enough power to think clearer and change our situation. The eloquence of your prayers don’t matter, its the passion and faith behind them that does.

James 5:16-18

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

TREAT YOUR SKIN

When your spirit is working on the inside, it’s time to start work on the outside. Blemish prone skin requires attention at best of times so taking care of it is just as important if not more in your worst times. It allows you to pamper yourself and focus on the things you can change. Go to the spa, have an at home pamper session or just keep up with your skin care routine. Having bad skin shouldn’t be another added stress if you can help it.

DO YOUR HAIR & MAKE-UP

When you look good, you feel good and although au naturel is lovely, a little make-up can help when you are not yet feeling 100% yourself. Fake it till you make it I say! Make-up gives you that little extra boost of confidence when you need it most and there’s nothing wrong with that. So bring out the make-up bag and work your magic. Once you’re done, style your hair in your favourite hairstyle and you’re half way there to feeling and looking like you again.

STYLE YOUR CLOTHES

A pretty face isn’t complete without clothes to match. This may sound shallow to some but I believe that how you dress is a representation of how you feel. What you wear should be based on the positive thoughts you have about yourself and nothing else. The only person you are guaranteed to impress in life is you so never miss out on an opportunity to do that.

GET OUT THERE

Isolating yourself makes you forget the good in all the madness. You focus so much on yourself and your problems you forget there are other people in your life who care so much about you. People who are willing to help you through your problems. With every interaction with others you build strength to deal with what you are going through. It may not feel like it at first but if you have the right people around you you’ll realise that you are not alone in this.

Sometimes things in life happen not to bring us down but to shows us the quality of our friends, family and the life we live. It may not seem that way at the time but trust me it is. We are all entitled to a moment or two of self pity but we should never allow ourselves to stay there. Never let a let down keep you down.

Learn your lessons and keep it moving. It’s not easy but it will get easier as long as you are willing to keep going.

Love always,
Lydia x

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”

Charles Dickens

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We all feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, and frustrated at times but rarely do we openly choose to express them through crying. Instead we are made to find other ways of expressing those emotions because crying is often seen as a sign of weakness. Why is that?

When we were babies, crying was the only mode of communication we knew. If we were hungry, we cried. If we were uncomfortable, we cried. If we felt lonely, we cried. If we just needed a cuddle, we cried. What is it about growing up that turned this way of communicating and expressing ourselves into something negative? Something we are shamed to do.

I was inspired to write this post because a lot has happened in the last three months. I’ll probably share in detail exactly what’s been happening at a later date but for now just know that a lot has happened. So much so that the only way I knew how to deal with it was to cry. I cried alone, I cried in front of people and I cried till my eyes went dry. Every time I’d go to speak about it, I would cry. After I’d finish crying I felt so much better. This made me realise how powerful crying is and how often we overlook this simple but effective form of expression.

Crying is a natural response to life and the many things we deal with yet more often then not we act as though this natural response isn’t natural. Instead we try to suppress it in an attempt to show how strong we are. But who said crying means you’re not strong?

Scientifically, crying is the shedding of your tears in response to an emotional state. The tears that are produced as a result of this emotional state are called psychic, or ‘crying’ tears. Psychic tears contain a natural painkiller, called leucine enkephalin which explains why you feel better after having a good cry. There is a reason and a purpose for our tears.

Tears are a representation of who we are. They can show that we are happy. They can show that we are sad. They can show that we are angry and they can show that we are strong. To deny yourself a moment of expressing that is to deny who you are.

When I had my moments of crying I didn’t have the capacity to distract myself from what was hurting me. My tears forced me to deal with my pain internally first instead of suppressing it. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t see and at times I couldn’t breath. I could only cry and once I wiped away the last tear I felt a piece of my pain wipe away with it. I had emptied myself just enough to start seeing the positive things that were around me.

Crying gave me the strength and release I needed to empty out the bad and focus on the good and I want to remind you of that. I want to remind you how important it is to cry. Cry through the fear. Cry through the anger. Cry through the heartbreak even when you think you shouldn’t. Don’t think, just do it. Your tears are more powerful than you know. Don’t criticise yourself, your situation or those who have caused you to cry, just cry.

Genesis 21:17

“God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.”

What I’ve taken away from the last three months is this:

It’s OK to cry over your own pain
It’s OK to cry over other peoples pain
It’s OK to cry as many times as you feel the need to
It’s OK to cry without knowing what will happen once you stop crying

Make those tears counts by allowing them to do what they were created for – to express and release what you are feeling. Many alternative forms of expressing those feelings can cause pain to someone else. But tears never hurt anyone and they certainly won’t hurt you.

So cry if you need to. It’s okay.

Love always,
Lydia x

Tag: personal

Getting Your Groove Back