Why It’s Okay to Cry

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”

Charles Dickens


We all feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, and frustrated at times but rarely do we openly choose to express them through crying. Instead we are made to find other ways of expressing those emotions because crying is often seen as a sign of weakness. Why is that?

When we were babies, crying was the only mode of communication we knew. If we were hungry, we cried. If we were uncomfortable, we cried. If we felt lonely, we cried. If we just needed a cuddle, we cried. What is it about growing up that turned this way of communicating and expressing ourselves into something negative? Something we are shamed to do.

I was inspired to write this post because a lot has happened in the last three months. I’ll probably share in detail exactly what’s been happening at a later date but for now just know that a lot has happened. So much so that the only way I knew how to deal with it was to cry. I cried alone, I cried in front of people and I cried till my eyes went dry. Every time I’d go to speak about it, I would cry. After I’d finish crying I felt so much better. This made me realise how powerful crying is and how often we overlook this simple but effective form of expression.

Crying is a natural response to life and the many things we deal with yet more often then not we act as though this natural response isn’t natural. Instead we try to suppress it in an attempt to show how strong we are. But who said crying means you’re not strong?

Scientifically, crying is the shedding of your tears in response to an emotional state. The tears that are produced as a result of this emotional state are called psychic, or ‘crying’ tears. Psychic tears contain a natural painkiller, called leucine enkephalin which explains why you feel better after having a good cry. There is a reason and a purpose for our tears.

Tears are a representation of who we are. They can show that we are happy. They can show that we are sad. They can show that we are angry and they can show that we are strong. To deny yourself a moment of expressing that is to deny who you are.

When I had my moments of crying I didn’t have the capacity to distract myself from what was hurting me. My tears forced me to deal with my pain internally first instead of suppressing it. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t see and at times I couldn’t breath. I could only cry and once I wiped away the last tear I felt a piece of my pain wipe away with it. I had emptied myself just enough to start seeing the positive things that were around me.

Crying gave me the strength and release I needed to empty out the bad and focus on the good and I want to remind you of that. I want to remind you how important it is to cry. Cry through the fear. Cry through the anger. Cry through the heartbreak even when you think you shouldn’t. Don’t think, just do it. Your tears are more powerful than you know. Don’t criticise yourself, your situation or those who have caused you to cry, just cry.

Genesis 21:17

“God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.”

What I’ve taken away from the last three months is this:

  1. It’s OK to cry over your own pain
  2. It’s OK to cry over other peoples pain
  3. It’s OK to cry as many times as you feel the need to
  4. It’s OK to cry without knowing what will happen once you stop crying

Make those tears counts by allowing them to do what they were created for – to express and release what you are feeling. Many alternative forms of expressing those feelings can cause pain to someone else. But tears never hurt anyone and they certainly won’t hurt you.

So cry if you need to. It’s okay.

Love always,
Lydia x

Posted by

Hi and welcome to Lydia on Life! I'm the mother of a very handsome baby boy and work in software development in London. I created lydiaonlife.com and use it as an outlet to share my journey through motherhood. I love food, I love travel, I love creativity and I love technology. Most of all I'm learning to enjoy being a mother and sharing that experience with the internet.

5 thoughts on “Why It’s Okay to Cry

  1. Good points about tears!
    I learned something similar a while back. While going through an intensely trying time, I ventured into a church I’d never been to before. Amazingly at one point in the sermon, the pastor looked right at me and she said, “perhaps you were raised to keep a stiff upper lip (I’m British) but sometimes you just need a damn good cry.” A dam broke. It was like God was speaking to me that it was OK I didn’t need to “be strong”. I dissolved in tears. A sweet sister sitting next to me, prayed with me and we took all the problems to the Lord together. The story has a happy ending, the prayers were answered, even the one needing a miracle and that became my church and a great blessing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad it worked out for you! It always does in the end.

      It’s through crying I finally understood what it meant to be still and leave it up to God. To truly be vulnerable and broken because that create room for Him to fix it.

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience.

      Lydia x

      Liked by 2 people

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