“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
It’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted anything new on here but after a much needed break I’m back doing what I love. To mark my return I thought I’d share a little little life update on what’s been going on and what I have in store for my little corner of the internet.
But first, how are you? How is life treating you?
Me, I’m doing good. A lot has happened since I last posted. Some good, some bad and some just plain old unexplainable but I’m in a much better place now than I was a few months ago. Life hit me and it hit me really REALLY hard. I was never fully ready to share the specifics both online and offline because it’s hard to do so when you’re in the midst of the chaos. Every time I wanted to say something, the words failed me. I didn’t know where to start or how to start or if I should even start. So I didn’t. Instead, I had many days of crying and feeling sorry for myself until eventually I found the strength to get my groove back. Things weren’t okay but I knew they’d be okay. Eventually. Then I took a little 4 month break to gather myself and my thoughts and just enjoy the good moments that were happening instead of dwelling on the bad.
I told myself that once I got it together I’d return and write a life update post and share my journey because I believe it’s part of the recovery process. It’s a slow and painful process but it’s worth sharing because someone else might be going through the same thing and need to know that they are not alone. That it’s normal to feel how you feel and it’s possible to get through it no matter how hard it might be. Sometimes that’s all the encouragement we need.
So without further ado here is little life update on what’s been going on. Are you sitting comfortably?
I’ll start with the biggest and most amazing thing of all that’s happened to me in the last 5 months. On 17th September at 7 something in the morning I become a mum to the most handsome little boy named Matthew. I say little but he weighed a healthy 7.3 pounds which is quite big so I’ve been told. I too was a big baby so I wasn’t too surprised. I delivered him via an emergency caesarian section (c-section) which I was not prepared for at all! I’ll go into more detail about my pregnancy, delivery and recovery in another post but for now I’m so excited to share this wonderful news. I’m officially a mama! Whoooop! It still hasn’t really kicked in yet that I am someone’s mum and I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it anyway and I’m falling in love with him every single day whilst at it. I’m anxious but excited to spend the rest of my life trying to keep his little behind alive, healthy and happy!
The next update is that sadly the start of this amazing new chapter in my life was met with an unexpected end to my relationship with Matthew’s father. I’ve spoken about him a few times on here during our relationship and I never in a million years thought it would end like it did, but it did. We broke up in February and I went through the entire pregnancy without him. It’s crazy how things can change so quickly but that’s life. Things change, people change and you just have to deal with it as best as you can. I was fortunate to have support from my amazing family and friends which I thank God for every single day. I don’t know how I would have coped without them.
At some point I’ll share the experience with you as I feel it’s important to share both life’s ups and downs, however for now I want to continue focusing on the good that came out of our relationship – Matthew. He’s taken all my pain and disappointment away and I know that everything happens for a reason. I didn’t understand it at first but I get that now. I’m so much more happier and excited for the future ahead.
Last but not least, is my blog. They say behind every dark cloud there’s always a silver lining. Or something like that. Well, I think I may have found my silver lining. My life has taken an amazing but unexpectedly turn and I’d like my blog to a reflection of that. After all this is Lydia on Life, right? I’ve spent a lot of time talking about self love and self development on my blog amongst other things and that has helped me get through everything that’s happened so far this year. Because of that, I know I want to continue sharing my journey. I’m now a single young woman and also a new mum and I want to share my thought’s and experiences as I try to navigate and balance this new life. I have so much to learn and even more to give and it’s all thanks to Matthew. He has given me a new perspective on myself and life and has made me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. I’m ready for whatever lies ahead and I want to share it all right right here.
So yup, that’s my life update so far. As you can see I’ve been going through quit a bit of change and though it hasn’t been easy, I thank God everyday for it. I went through it, I got through it and I’ve come out the other side smiling because of it.
Life is very unpredictable and at times can be very uncomfortable. But I read a quote from Mokokoma Mokhonoana that said ‘comfort rarely produces great art’. Out of my uncomfortable I want to produce great art. I want my experience to bare fruits that will be used as encouragement for those (including myself) that may find themselves in that place of doubt again. I want to show whoever stumbles across my blog that you are more prepared to take on life’s struggles than you think you are. You may not feel like it but trust me you are. Just be patient with yourself. You cannot celebrate a victory if you’ve never been to war.
So I wrote this to not only give you a life update but to remind you that no matter how long or how dark the tunnel might be, keep going because there is light at the end of it. It might seem far, it might not even look like it’s there but trust me it’s there. Use that time to grow, develop and overcome the obstacles that will come along the way. It won’t be easy or painless but in the end you will be able to say you made it.
I don’t know what’s in store for the future but I’m excited for it anyway.
Till next time!