lydia-on-life

New Mum | What do you feed a 6-9 month old?

“A baby’s motivation to put food in his mouth is curiosity and copying – not hunger “ ― Gill Rapley

I headed down to my local supermarket to get some of the ready-made baby food on the shelves and Matthew absolutely hated every single one of them. Now what?

“A baby’s motivation to put food in his mouth is curiosity and copying – not hunger “
― Gill Rapley

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If you’re new to my blog, then welcome!

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing OK considering I’ve spent the last week suffering from a cold given to me by my son. I was told that kids collect all sorts from nursery but I didn’t think I’d have the privilege of experiencing it so soon. He’s only been there 2 weeks! Nonetheless we are both doing better and I had just enough strength and time to work on a few blog posts and here’s one of them.

So once upon a time I write a food related post because well I was trying to test the waters of my content and also share some of the meals that have been saving my ass as a mum who hates cooking but ~~loves~~ needs to eat. If that sounds like you then do check out my first Lydia’s Lazy Lunch post and let me know what you think of my first meal in the series. I hope to share more with you in the coming months.

Anywho, in that post I mentioned that Matthew was showing signs he was ready for solid food (sitting up, looking at my food, grabbing my food and shoving it in his mouth, that kinda stuff). I got so excited that I headed down to my local supermarket to get some of the ready-made baby food on the shelves and he absolutely hated every single one of them, even the baby fruit purees. I didn’t like them either but thought it was a me thing. Every thing tasted sour for some reason…

As happy as I was that his taste buds and I were agreeing, this excitement was short lived as it downed on me that now I’d have to make his food from scratch. If you’ve read my last food related post you’d know I hate cooking with a passion but my baby gotta eat and enjoy his food so call me Suzy Homemaker. No don’t call me that please.

Through persistence, patience and a whole lot of wasted food I was able to find a handful of dishes he really liked and I thought I’d share some of them with you.

The weaning process has defiantly been an interesting phase in both of our lives. He’s discovering new flavours and textures whilst I’m discovering new poo smells and textures and a whole new level of forgiveness. 9 times out of 10 the food I spent the better part of my day researching, preparing and blending usually ended up everywhere but my baby’s mouth.

So, if like me, you have no idea or are running out of ideas on what to feed your 6-9 month old here are the quick and easy meals my son is loving during the weaning process. Now please note I am not a dietician or claiming that these meals will go down well with your baby. These are just suggestions to get you started if you’re in need of some ideas. They worked for me, my son and my sanity and I only hope they will do the same for you. Speak to your GP if you have any concerns or need advise on any of these dishes. I’m just a mother sharing my experience on the internet that’s all I’m saying…

Without further ado, here’s what you could feed your 6-9 month old.

Breakfast

Baby Porridge (He loves Cow & Gate banana porridge)
Weeatbix with mashed banana
Banana & avocado puree

Lunch

Scrambled eggs, avocado & baked beans
Salmon, spinach & pasta
Potatoes, mixed vegetables & soft cheese

Dinner

Turkey or beef mince stew, vegetables & pasta
Chicken stew, sweet potatoes & mixed vegetables
Mackerel and avocado

Dessert

Custard or rice pudding
Fruits
Yogurt (He loves Petit Filous and Little Yeos organic fruity yogurts)

Finger foods

Toast with butter, jam or marmalade
Rice cakes (He loves Organix organic apple rice cakes)
Soft baby biscuits (He loves Kiddylicious Apple Soft Biscotti)

And that’s it!

I plan his weekly meals around these food combinations and ensure he is having plenty of milk and water in between so he’s not constipated or dehydrated.

It’s a learning curve for both mother and baby when it comes to weaning or anything else in the motherhood life. We have to take time to get used to it. It took me 3 months and loads of wasted food to get this list. It’s frustrating, tiring and worrying but it’s also fun and exciting once you get passed the mess. You’ll soon realise how much the internet *cough* Instagram and YouTube *cough* lies to you. There is nothing glamorous about the weaning process. You’ll find food bits in all the wrong places, you’ll not get the portions right and your kitchen will look like you live with the 7 dwarfs. Still, I am glad to say that I’m finding my way through it. I might actually end up being Suzy Homemaker at this rate.

I’m still figuring out how much he actually eats and what other foods he likes but I know that these meals always go down well with him. They are pretty quick, easy and self explanatory and I always mix them with milk but if you’d like me to share how I make them then do let me know in the comments. My usual rule is if I taste it and I like it, he will like it too.

As tiring and often heartbreaking as the weaning process can be you feel so accomplished and proud to see your baby scoff down all the food you made once you figure it out. It makes the mess, stress and begging all worth while. Kinda…

I also found the www.madeformums.com website really useful when it came to weaning and baby recipes and meal planning. I’d suggest picking 2 or 3 meals to try for a week to see how your baby takes to it. That way if they like it, don’t like it or have an allergic reaction to it you’ll be able to easily pin point which one it was. But remember I’m not a professional nor am I claiming to be. I’m just a first time mum sharing her experience.

To make the process of making the food fun I usually have him in the kitchen with me and pretend we’re on a cooking show on YouTube. Is that sad? Probably, but who cares!

Your Turn…

How did you find the weaning process? Do you have any easy to make baby recipes or know of any?

Let me know in the comments below or on my socials @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it? I don’t post often enough to spam you!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Mum Bloggers | Where Are All the Black Single Mums?

“It is more substantial to represent a purpose, rather than just a title.” ― T.F. Hodge

Over the last few months of 2019 I’ve slowly started embracing the world of mummy blogging (or mommy blogging for my US people) but it’s not been easy as a black single mum.

“It is more substantial to represent a purpose, rather than just a title.”
― T.F. Hodge

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If you’re new to my blog, then welcome! And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good and slowly getting back to regular posting. As you know being a mum is hard and finding the time to do anything aside from being a mum is even harder. But as always I keep myself motivated as best as I can when it comes to life and blogging.

Over the last few months of 2019 I’ve been slowly trying to embrace the world of mummy blogging (or mommy blogging for my US people). It’s hard to do so when you only have a few readers and very few people see you as a mummy blogger but I’ve decided to not let the opinions of others determine how I see myself. This goes for all aspects of my life, including hobbies such as blogging.

So what is mummy blogging? Mummy blogging is a way for women to create content online about the most challenging and rewarding parts of our lives – being mothers. I stared my mummy blogging journey last year as it helped me get through the postpartum period and the challenges I faced once I was face-to-face with the little human I’d been creating for the last 9 months. Here’s where my journey began if you’re interested.

I’ve accepted that blogging about motherhood is something I love doing and hope to keep doing however as I’ve started this journey, I’ve noticed that there aren’t that many mummy bloggers like me – young, black and single. Why is this? Are they all hiding or am I just looking in the wrong places?

If you do a Google search for ’single mummy blogger’ 99.9% of the results are of women who look nothing like me. Our ‘single mum’ label might be the same but how that label affects us is different, very different. Don’t get me wrong, single motherhood is tough no matter how you look however as we’ve seen in this world, race and culture has a huge effect on our lives, especially in the black community.

It was sad to see so little representation in an area that was so important to me as a single mother and writing enthusiast. There aren’t that many books on the topic of thriving as a black single mum and our stories aren’t always conveyed in a positive light. This bothered me a lot but I was glad to see a few ladies out there making their mark on the blogospheres as independent black single mothers and I wanted to share them with you.

Without further ado, here are some amazing black single mothers with incredible stories about their journey.

The Single Mom Journey is a blog ran by a 40 something-year-old single mum of two named L.C. Like many of us, she uses her blog to share the wisdom she’s gained on topics such as raising kids, relationships, career moves, money matters, faith and inspiration. Her hope is that women, particularly single mums, will use her blog as a forum to be real and share their struggles without judgment. Check out her post on black single mum blogs for more amazing mothers to help you on your journey!

Black Moms Blog is run by Shanicia, a full-time mum of one living in Atlanta. She uses her blog to offer parenting tips, recipes, information about cultural and current events, as well as highlighting black businesses and mums who are making a splash in the business world. Her mission is to provide a place that changes the narrative of what Black motherhood is really all about. Here’s the post that got me interested in her story

Single Black Motherhood is a blog ran by a 26-year old working mother of one named Kim. Like me, she struggled to find millennial, black single mums on the blogosphere or podcastphere (is that a thing? I’m making it a thing) so decided to create her own. On her blog she shares her journey and the things she’s learning along the way in hopes of inspiring other young black single mums out there. How she managed single parenting with two jobs whilst studying is amazing to me and defiantly worth a read.

Sophie-sticated Mum is a blog ran by Dr. Reed AKA Sophia, a 30 something single mother of one and a National Certified Counsellor with a PhD in Human Behaviour (okay mama!). She uses her blog to encourage women to turn their lemons into lemonade and make boss moves whilst putting God first. Her story on how she became a single mother is definite one to read. So inspiring!

Greater Than Mama Blog is run by Briana, a 27 year old single mum of one. She uses her blog to show other mums that you don’t have to stop being you, just to be someone else’s mother. Although she doesn’t claim to have all the answers on how those two sides of motherhood can co-exists, she hopes to figure it out with the rest of us through her blog. Here’s her latest post which I know I’ll be using once Matthew starts day care.

Although I was happy to find these wonderful ladies, I couldn’t help but notice that most if not all of them were from the US. There are around 1.8 million single parents in the UK and 90% of them are women. How many of those are black women, I’m not sure but if I exist, surely there are others? Surely there are women out there like me with a story to tell about their journey?

This thought reminded me why I decided to share my own single parent journey here on Lydia on Life. Not only did I want a place to document my thoughts and experiences but to also connect with other mothers who look like me, talk like me and are dealing with similar life issues as me. I’m glad I was able to find a few but I know there’s more stories out there waiting to be told.

So for now I’ll continue sharing my journey (and anyone else I find) for my own growth so that anyone else who feels the way I do will know they are not alone.

I hope you enjoyed my little list of wonderful black mummy bloggers who are doing it all whilst raising children single handedly and sharing their journey with us. I can’t wait to learn from them and enjoy their content!

Your Turn…

Do you know of any other black single mum bloggers from around the world? Would they be interested in sharing their journey with me?

Let me know in the comments below or on my socials @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I try (emphasis on the try) to post once a week so stay tuned!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Life Update | What Happened In May?

“How you feel about home after holiday says a lot about home.”
― Joyce Rachelle

Having some me time is so important, especially as a mother. Single or not, being a mother requires so much of yourself that it’s easy to lose yourself in the midst of it all.

“How you feel about home after holiday says a lot about home.”
― Joyce Rachelle

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If you’re new to my blog, then welcome! And if not, then welcome back!

How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing fabulous! May is a very special month for me for many reasons. Not only is it my birthday month but it’s also the month I use to reflect on all that I have done since my last birthday. It’s a mindfulness exercise I started last year called a reverse bucket list thats helped me learn to change my perspective on how I look at myself and the things happening in my life.

Being away from my usual surroundings also helps hence why I’ve not posted anything on here this month. I decided to take a much needed 3 week holiday to Kenya with my family where I knew I’d be able to relax, gather my thoughts and hit a very busy second half of 2019.

Aside from enjoying the time away from the London life, being in Kenya gave me the boost and guidance I needed when it came to parenting and I hope to share all I’ve learned in the months to come.

But for now here is a short, sweet and hopefully interesting recap on what Matthew and I have been up to in May.

What’s been happening with me:

I successfully travelled with a 8 month old to Kenya (this was not easy at all!)
I turned 27 (another birthday spent in another country)
I revived my Instagram page (hadn’t posted in over a year)

What’s been happening with Matthew:

Travelled on a plane for the first time (he did well considering how long the journey was)
He visited the rural areas in Kenya to see our extended family for the first time (everyone loved him)
He started standing on his own (if he could stand all day he would)
His top two teeth came through (this was not a fun experience for either of us)
He finally settled into a routine that works for me (the joy I feel about this is indescribable)

And that’s it! These were the highlights of my May. I’ll go into some of those moments in another posts but I hope you’ve gotten an idea of how we are doing so far in our journey.

As much as I enjoy being a mother and sharing that experience on my blog, sometimes stepping away from all that even for a little while will do you more good than trying to soldier through it.

Having some me time is so important, especially as a mother. Single or not, being a mother requires so much of yourself that it’s easy to lose yourself in the midst of it all. Our mental health is important if we want to not only raise strong amazing children but enjoy all that comes with it.

So from one exhausted mother to another I encourage you to take as many breaks as you need till you feel ready to face the world again because the world and the world of parenting is a difficult place to live in. There is nothing wrong in taking some time to focus on you and your mental health. This time can really help you get through those difficult moments and enjoy the wonderful moments that come along with it.

Speaking of wonderful moments, head over to my Instagram to see what Matthew and I got up to in Kenya. I don’t think I’ll be making such a long distance trip with him anytime soon but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to do it so early on in his life. I guess Brighton will have to be good enough for now!

The rest of 2019 is looking to be pretty busy for both of us so bare with me as I adjust.

Your Turn…

What were the highlights of May for you? Is there anything in this months round-up you’d like me to talk more about?

Let me know in the comments below or on my other social platform @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I hope (emphasis on hope) to start posting once a week again so stay tuned!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Life Update | What Happened In April?

“A mother continues to labor long after the baby is born.”
– Lisa Jo Baker.

April has come and gone and it brought a lot of exciting and not so exciting things. I learned a lot about myself and those around me and realised just how important a change of environment can be.

“A mother continues to labor long after the baby is born.”
– Lisa Jo Baker

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Hello and welcome to my blog!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

I’m back with another round-up on what’s been going on with me and Matthew this month. April started off really low for me and I kinda shut away from friends and family as that’s how I deal with things however as time went on things started to get better. I learned a lot about myself and those around me and realised just how much stepping out of my comfort zone and following these tips can help me get my groove back.

So as promised, here is a short, sweet and hopefully interesting round up of how my April has been

What’s been happening with me

Managed to catch the flu (not great when you have a baby to look after)
Postnatal depression got to me really badly (I hate that word)
Sorted out my date for returning back to work (is it bad that I’m excited?)
Found a mentor for the project I’m working on (another exciting milestone for me)
I attend my first tech event for black folk called AfroTechFest (Amazing experience!)
And finally I got my lashes done for the first time (check them out on Instagram)

What’s been happening with Matthew

Turned 7 months (7 whole moths guys!)
He managed to catch my flu (dealt with it like a champ though)
Started walking along the edges of his bed from one end to the other (falls half way but it’s progress)
I took him to the office to show him off to everyone (travelling in London with a baby ain’t easy)
He’s been accepted to my first choice nursery ( I only registered for one)
And finally we officially started the weaning phase (it’s messy and we’re both still adjusting!)

It’s been a busy and emotional month but it’s been a good one. I’m super excited for the next one though so stay tuned for May’s round up! *cough* It’s my birthday month *cough* *cough*

Your Turn…

What were the highlights of April for you? Is there anything in this months round-up you’d like me to talk more about?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I try (emphasis on the try) to post once a week so stay tuned!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

New Mum | Do I Like Being A Mum?

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”
— Linda Woote

I had a rough couple of weeks this month were the only response to the question “How does it feel to be a mum” was “sh*t”.

“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”
— Linda Woote

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Hello and welcome to my blog!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

I’m doing pretty good. I had a rough couple of weeks this month were the only response to the question “How does it feel to be a mum” was “sh*t”. Motherhood felt really sh*t if I’m being honest. I use the past tense because right now, it feels amazing but there are a lot moments where the weight and responsibility of motherhood just becomes too much for me. It didn’t help that I also caught the flu AND I managed to pass it on to my teething 7 month old. Lovely times!

So since motherhood, hormones and the flu were kicking my ass I decided to take an unintentional but much needed break from blogging, social media and pretty much the rest of the world. And between you, me and the internet I started to wish I could take a break from being a mum too. Unfortunately I can’t exactly detach my boobs and hand them over to someone else to take over so instead I cried, prayed and told myself that this was all part of the process and boy is it a difficult one. Being a mother is bloody hard work and to be honest, a lot of days I really don’t like it.

via GIPHY

Did i just say that out loud!

Well technically I wrote it but it’s true, I don’t like being a mum! At least not right now. My dislike in being a mother is more to do with the expectation and responsibility of raising another human rather than the actual human I’m raising or the fact that I’m doing it alone. My son and my singleness are actually the best part about the process. It’s all the other bits that come with a baby that suck and I’m not sure why no one ever told me it could be like this.

Now I feel like I have to say this for those who are getting ready to report me to social services or a mental ward; I love my son. I look at him everyday and I’m so grateful I made him and I get to watch him learn things and develop into a very interesting human. However, that doesn’t take away from the utter sh*t of an experience being a mum can be sometimes.

The crying, the screaming, the interrupted showers, the cold food and lukewarm tea, the waking up every hour to feed, the kicking whilst changing a poo-filled diaper, the 30 minute cat naps that leave you no time to do anything, the back breaking carrying, the never ending soothing, the unpredictable routine, the lopsided boobs and breastmilk stained bedsheets. Ahhhhh! And to make things extra fun, you’re suppose to deal with all of this (and more) on 3 hours (or less) of sleep, raging hormones and no coffee (or alcohol). Just faith, patience, mothers instinct and utter joy. Oh please! I think I’ve got just about enough of those to not lose my mind but not enough to take away the negative experience that this baby period can have on a mother.

I’m honestly convinced all the mothers around me have gotten amnesia or something and forgotten what it’s like to look after a baby because apparently I should be having the time of my life. “Before you know it they’re all grown up saying mum 24/7 and no to everything” they say. Well, with teething, growth spurts, weaning and constipation, I’m already experiencing that (and more) so what else you got for me?

Right now, being a mum feels like a glorified care worker except you work 24/7 with no breaks, holidays, sick leave or any form of payment. Oh no wait a minute I forgot you do get paid, in kisses and hugs and all those wonderful things people tells you that are so rewarding for mothers. Can any of those get me a full nights sleep without leaking boobs? I don’t think so Judy! It’s been 7 months and so far I’ve gotten a slap on the head, poked and scratched in the face and my nipples bitten. No kisses or hugs yet sir…

Right now, being a mother to me is draining, overwhelming, exhausting, frustrating, tiring, confusing, unpleasant, difficult and a whole host of other emotions I’m yet to identify so please excuse me for not feeling like the luckiest women in the world.

Oh but we mustn’t say such things, must we. Us mothers aren’t allowed to have negative feelings about motherhood are we? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

via GIPHY

But I do, because well in case people have forgotten, I didn’t all of a sudden stop being a human once I popped another human out of me. News flash, mothers are humans too you know. We feel good things and bad things about many things, even babies. The idea that being a mother should be the most ah-mazing experience in the world to me is peoples passive aggressive way of guilt tripping you into feeling like a bad mother if you don’t think otherwise. I’m not here for that.

Other people aren’t going through what you’re going through so why do they get a say in how you should be feeling about something so unique and personal? Why is it taboo to share this side of motherhood where everything feels like sh*t and you feel like sh*t for feeling like the experience is sh*t? I’ve said sh*t a lot so you can guess what I was cleaning before I wrote this post.

“Oh but it’s all worth it in the end, right?” Is it Susan, is it really? How do you measure worth when it comes to raising another human being? Who decided what is deemed as “worth it”? Is having your hair fall out in chunks worth it? Is having the simple task of getting milk from the shops turn into a military operation worth it? Is the sleep deprivation worth it? Is the pain in every part of your body worth it? Is the isolation from the rest of the world worth it? Is the isolation from the rest of yourself worth it? Is the fact that they will never remember all that you did during this stage of their lives worth it? And what is this end you speak of because according to my calculations I’m a mother for the rest of my life and I don’t plan on changing that so…

*deep breath*

Have I said too much? Have I overstepped this invisible line that was carved around my emotions the moment I became a mother? Because let a woman show any emotion other than happiness she’s deemed crazy or unstable, but I can assure you I’m neither. I’m simply a first-time mum getting to grips with the fact that being a mother isn’t for the faint hearted or those who love their sleep. Being a mother is late nights, early mornings, ripped and usually stretched out clothes, missed meals, cuts, bruises, aches and pains and an enormous pressure to be perfectly happy about it. It’s fear, worry, isolation and concern about every single thing you do. As much as it’s all those things (and so much more) it’s also a unique, selfless and character building experience that you will never experience unless you are a mother.

It takes a lot of strength being a mother and even more to admit that often times it doesn’t feel like the best job or most rewarding job in the world but you’re glad you have the opportunity to do it and are constantly learning from it. Experience is the best teacher and boy am I learning a lot and so is Matthew.

No one should dictate to you how you should feel about the process because it’s yours to experience, not theirs. I know my experience isn’t everyone’s but I believe people need to be realistic when sharing their stories about their pregnancies and birth as well as the bit that comes after all that. The good, the bad and the complete sh*t of an experience being a mother can be sometimes. Speaking of sh*t, I think he’s just done one on a freshly changed diaper…guess that’s my queue!

I sometimes wonder if Matthew is just as frustrated with this whole experience as I am. Probably.

Your Turn…

How did you think being a mother would be like before you become one? Was it what you expected? How do you define “worth it” when it comes to motherhood?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I try (emphasis on the try) to post once a week so stay tuned!
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Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Life Update | What Happened In March?

“Taking a break can lead to breakthroughs.” ― Russell Eric Dobda

Lots of big and small things are happening in my life right now and not enough time to write it all down. So I though why not end the month with a little round up of what’s been going on.

“Taking a break can lead to breakthroughs.”
― Russell Eric Dobda

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Hello and welcome to my blog!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

I think I’m doing okay… March has been a bit of an off month for me. Lot’s of things have happened, (some good some not so good ) so I kinda took a break to gather my thoughts. I tend to do that a lot to realign myself but this time I thought instead of going completely silent for the entire month maybe I should share some of the things I’ve been doing in a little monthly round-up. I think about this blog way too much to just let it collect dust whilst I deal with life. So here we are!

Lots of big and small things are happening in my life right now and with a very active baby and majority (if not all) of my brains cells are focused on him, I’m not able to write them all down and share them as much as I’d like to. I’m also not sure if my readers would care to read a whole blog post on what lunch I made whilst entertaining a 6 month old. Or maybe you would? I don’t know.

My hope is that these monthly road-ups will encourage you guys to let me know what areas about my life you’d like to know more (or less) about. It will also help me keep track of what’s actually been going on in my life as I pursue my 2019 goals. It will be short, it will be sweet and hopefully interesting enough.

So without further ado here is my March round-up…

What’s been happening with me:

Started a new project which I hope to share at the end of the year (fingers crossed)
Applied for nursery for Matthew (he should hopefully start in June)
Celebrated my first mothers day (it wasn’t what I thought it would be)
And finally I attend my first blogging event BlogConLND (where I finally met my blogging sista queen jennasworldview.com and other lovely people!)

What’s been happening with Matthew

Matthew turned 6 months (ahhhhhh already!)
He was baptised on 24th March (very emotional day for him and me)
He started standing on his own (with the help of anything sturdy around him)
And finally he started eating solids (making full use of his 2 teeth!)

And that’s it I believe. Told you it would be short sweet and interesting (kinda). I don’t know what’s in store for next month but be sure I’ll have another round up ready for you.

Your Turn…

What were the highlights of March for you? Is there anything in this months round-up you’d like me to talk more about?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I try (emphasis on the try) to post once a week so stay tuned!

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Modern Mum | Lydia’s Lazy Lunch #1

If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong.
– Tom Jaine

Having a baby is hard work and trying to find the time to cook as well as eat is even harder when you have to clean, feed, entertain and soothe a 5 month old on minus 8 hours of sleep. As a mum and a human being I don’t ask for much.

After attempting to meal prep, I thought I’d start a series where I share some of the quick meal ideas I use to keep up with the demands of motherhood.

“If cooking becomes an art form rather than a means of providing a reasonable diet, then something is clearly wrong.”
– Tom Jaine

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Hello!

If you’re new to my blog, then welcome.

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good. After starting Matthew on solids and attempting to meal prep my own food, I thought I’d create a series where I share some of the quick meal ideas I use to keep up with the demands of motherhood.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Between you me and the internet, I hate cooking. *gasp*. What? A woman who hates cooking? Say it isn’t so! But yes it is. I absolutely hate cooking. What I do love is eating and judging by the way Matthew has taken to solid food, so does he. Bottom line is we both love to eat. It’s the part that comes before the eating (and sometimes after) that I have an issue with.

Having a baby is hard work and trying to find the time to cook as well as eat is even harder when you have to clean, feed, entertain and soothe a 5 month old on minus 100 hours of sleep. As a mum and a normal human being I don’t ask for much.

All I want is to be able to eat a home cooked meal at least three times a day whilst it’s still hot and I still have the energy and time to eat it. Is that too much to ask? Unfortunately hiring a personal chef isn’t an option right now and no one (including myself) is able to keep up with the amount of food I need to eat in a day to function. So the next best thing is to meal prep.

And to do just that, I created a set of meals that use less than ten ingredients and take less than 30 minutes to prepare. Now my idea of meal prepping is not fancy or special or anything like that so all you master chefs and come diners please relax on the judgment. My meal prepping is for one reason and one reason only: to keep me alive.

Aside from helping me be more efficient with my time, meal prepping has become a very important means of providing for my son. As a breastfeeding mum, meal prepping means I’m able to keep up with the amount of food intake I need daily to ensure that my son and I are getting all the nutrition we need. That to me is the most important reason for meal prepping. And t’s easier on the wallet too.

But the aim of this post isn’t to convince you about the benefits of meal prepping, Google has that covered. This post is just me sharing an easy fool-proof recipe for those days where you’re feeling too lazy to cook, too broke to eat-out or too busy to stand over a cooker for hours. And for the days where you’re feeling all three at once.

So without further waffle, here is the first recipe from my Lydia’s Lazy Lunch series.

Creamy Bacon & Vegetable Pasta

Serving: 2 portions
Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:
– 200g bacon lardons
– 2 cloves of diced garlic
– 1 teaspoon of mild curry powder
– 1 chopped pepper
– Chopped mushrooms
– Tin sweetcorn (drain water)
– Double cream
– Pasta
– Pinch of salt (optional)

Tools:
– 2 Pots
– Cooking spoon
– Oil

Instructions:

Cook pasta in a pot with boiling water and a little bit of salt to your liking.
Heat oil in another pot and fry bacon, garlic and curry powder for 10 minutes
Add mushrooms, peppers and other vegetables and cook them for 5 minuets
Add the cooked pasta and sweetcorn and mix it all together for 2 minutes
Add double cream and mix for 3 minutes. If you don’t have double cream you can use Philadelphia cheese cream or butter and milk as a substitute (see how here)

Serve and enjoy!

That’s it. The idea for this lazy lunch series is to keep these meals easy when you have a little human to entertain and no extra pair of hands. The ingredients are simple, the steps are short and the food tastes good! At least I think so.

This recipe usually gives me two servings which is enough for me to have for lunch and dinner. Increasing the measurements will obviously increase the portions so it’s all depending on how often you want to cook. I meal prep 3 times a week (Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday) and prepare 2 different meals each time. You could meal prep on one day and just freeze them for the week if you don’t want to cook so frequently. I’ll probably start doing that once I return to work.

However you do it, I hope that you find this meal quick, easy and tasty whether or not you have a little human to look after.

Now that Matthew is 5 months and keen to eat grown up food I’ll need to start prepping his meals too. Stay tuned for more on that and other Lazy Lunch recipes!

Your Turn…

What do you think of this recipe? Would you try it? Do you have any lazy lunch ideas you’d like to share?

Let me know in the comments below or on my Twitter, Instagram and Pintrest.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

Single Mum | Am I Ready to Date?

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
― Candace Bushnell

Valentines Day has never been a big deal for me, even when I was in a relationship. I remember my first Valentines Day date and how much anxiety it brought me. All I had to do was get dressed and do my hair and make-up in time for my date yet I was completely nervous throughout the entire process. The pressure to look good without looking like a bag of nerve ruined the whole experience for me.

Now that I am single, the idea of dating brings a new set of nerves.

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
― Candace Bushnell

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Hello!

If you’re new to my blog, then welcome to my little online home.

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing good. Despite being single and having no socially acceptable plans for Valentine’s Day, I’m doing pretty good. I did watch a lot of Netflix though. I’ve been doing a lot of that since going on maternity leave.

Now that I am single, the idea of dating brings a new set of nerves.

Dating.

Day-ting.

D – A – T – I – N – G.

No matter how it’s said, it has a different ring to it when you’re single and also a mum. Although I’m among many of my friends who are also single, my singleness is a little different to their singleness. I’m going to keep it all the way 100 with you okay so don’t judge me. Between you, me and the internet, I am clueless when it comes to dating #thesearemyconfessions. At 26 years old I’ve never really done the whole dating thing. At least not the way social media tells me I should anyway.

Before Matthew’s father, I believe I’d only been out on dates with 3 guys in my entire life. Is that even classified as dating?

One guy was a work colleague whom I didn’t actually like at all but thought at 20 years old it was about time I had a real date and got spoiled for a while. Maybe my mind will change once I got to know him more. Yeah, that didn’t happen. And we can all thank God that it didn’t.

The other two guys were from a dating app a friend recommend. Yup, I went there. At the time, I was curious as to how these dating apps worked and if they even worked so I thought why not. What’s the worse that could happen? Probably shouldn’t have said that. My curiosity didn’t kill me, however, one of the guys took me out on a date that made me want to kill him. I’ll save that story for another post.

And then there was Matthew’s father. Well we all know how that ended…

*breaths in stress*

So that’s my “dating” experience so far.

One taught me nothing, the other taught me patience, one taught me to not use dating apps and one gave me an amazing baby. After 3 failed dates and 1 failed relationship do I really want a next? Although my friends and I might be in different boats, we’re all in the same sea wondering if we’re ready to deal with the fish that’s out here.

Dating is hard enough when you’re single let alone when you’re single and a mum too. I am no longer just me. I come as a package. A very strong, complicated and protective package with layers of packaging tape to match. As a newly single mum (and one with a boring dating history, clearly) do I really want to go down the dating road again? And if I do, how does it work? How does one approach dating as a single parent? When is the right time to start dating again? Is there a right time? How do you know if you even want to date?

I have so many questions but I’m not sure I want to know the answers.

I already know that a baby mama isn’t every man’s cup of tea and I’m okay with that. I’m not trying to be every man’s cup of tea. We all have preference. I for one prefer hot chocolate over tea but I digress. What I’m saying is I’m okay with not being someone’s ideal situation because I’m happy with my situation. However, as I think of the idea of potentially dating again, my mind wonders if there is such thing as a feeling or being ready. What would that look like? What would I look like as a dater? I’m even more clueless now than I was before I had Matthew.

And once I’ve had my dates and found a man who matches my energy in every which way, would I ever trust them enough like that again?

Being a single mum isn’t just complicated physically and mentally it’s emotionally complicated too. And draining. But I guess any relationship that doesn’t end the way you thought it would is like that. You’re left in pain, a little fearful and some what wounded and although sometimes you forget the pain, get over your fear and heal from your wounds, you’re often left with a scar. Scars are a lot harder to forget and even harder to get over. And I’m not just talking about my c-section either.

How those scar will affect me in my dating life, I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that although I’m not yet ready to date, I am open to the idea of dating in future and looking forward to seeing what all the fuss is about. Is this dating life for me? I don’t know.

Now that I’m a mum I can honestly say that I’m more than happy to remain single forever. Too often men are proving to be a lot more hassle than they are worth and no one’s sons is worth that much hassle except your own.

Nonetheless if the opportunity is there and it’s worth my time then why not. Enjoy the process I never really got to have before becoming a mum. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.

Until then, I’ll continue enjoying Valentine’s Day the way I’ve always enjoyed spending it – buying my mum flowers and reminding her how much I love her. That’s one tradition society will never take away from me. Hopefully it will continue on with my children. One can hope, right?

Your Turn…

If you’re single (with or without kids), how soon after being single did you start dating again? What are some of the concerns you had and how did you overcome them?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

10 Movies & TV Shows Perfect for Valentine’s Day on Netflix *

It’s that awkward time of the year again. I’m talking about Valentines Day… *gasp* Dun dun duuuun.

For most of us it’s a day of flowers, chocolates and Instagram worthy dates but for me it’s a little different. I’m single and I’m a mum. Not exactly the ideal candidate for this time of the year. Or am I?

It’s that awkward time of the year again. I’m talking about Valentines Day… *gasp* Dun dun duuuun.

For most, it’s a day of flowers, chocolates and Instagram worthy dates but for me it’s a little different. If you’ve read my pregnancy journey post then you will know why. So when I received an e-mail to work with Panasonic (HD television company)* about a post on TV shows that are perfect for Valentine’s Day I thought, okay, this could be interesting.

What movies and television shows would be perfect for a single mama like me on this fine day of romance and romantic love?

Thanks to Panasonic, I was inspired to find some and I wanted to share them with you. If you’re like me then hopefully these should keep us off social media for 24 hours where our singleness isn’t always appreciated. I’m all about turning lemons into lemonade. Can I get a Amen!

Okay let’s start with the movies.

BirdBox – (2018) – A mysterious force decimates the population by taking the form of their worst fear. If they see it, they die. In an effort to stay alive, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey to safety whilst blind folded. Will they make it? Starring Sandra Bullock, John Malkovich and Mr fine ass himself Trevante Rhodes. (Thriller)

And Breath Normally (2018) – Due to unforeseen circumstances, the lives of two women (a struggling Icelandic single mother and a Guinea-Bissauan asylum seeker) intertwine. A bond between them form as they strategise to get their lives back on track. Will they succeed? Starring Kristín Þóra Haraldsdóttir and Babetida Sadjo. (Drama)

Been So Long (2018) – Set on the streets of London’s musical hot-spot, Camden, a dedicated single mother is charmed by a handsome stranger with a troubled passed whilst on a night out. Is she ready to open up her heart again or will this new relationship end in disaster? Starring Michaela Coel and Arinzé Kene. (Musical)

Bad Moms (2016) – When three overworked and under-appreciated mums are pushed beyond their limits, they ditch their conventional responsibilities for a jolt of long overdue freedom, fun and comedic self-indulgence. Can these mums handle it? Starring Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn and Kristen Bell. (Comedy)

Mummy Dearest (2014) – A dedicated yet intrusive mother struggles to keep in touch with her five adult children. After the loss of his friend’s mother, the youngest and most unresponsive child travels back home on a journey of self-discovery and reconciliation. Will this make or break their relationship? Starring Liz Benson and Daniel K. Daniel. (Nollywood)

Now that’s what I call variety!

Let’s move onto the TV shows.

The Letdown – New mother Audrey needs help with the new addition to her family, so she joins a support group for new parents. While attending meetings, she makes quirky friends who are facing their own challenges and life changes. Will she be able to cope? Starring Alison Bell, Duncan Fellows and Leon Ford . (7 Episodes)

Greenleaf – On the surface, the Greenleaf family, who run a sprawling Memphis megachurch called Calvary Fellowship World Ministries, appear to have it all. However, the scandals, the secrets and the lies they share will taint their perfect world. Can they redeem themselves? Starring Lynn Whitfield and Keith David. (4 Seasons)

One Day At A Time – Follows the life of Penelope, a newly single Army veteran, and her Cuban-American family, as they navigate the ups and downs of life. With a teenage daughter, tween son and an old-school mother on hand, Penelope has a lot going on. How will she handle it all? Starring Justina Machado and Isabella Gomez (3 Seasons)

Sex Education – A socially awkward high school boy who’s mother is a sex therapist teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school. What could possibly go wrong? May not be one to watch with the kids around, ey. Starring Asa Butterfield, Gillian Anderson and Emma Mackey. (2 Seasons)

Friends – Does this really need a summary? Friends is a great TV show that never gets old and I won’t hear a bad word said about it. I’ve had Phoebe moments, Monica moments and now I’m having a Rachel moment (Season 8). Every storyline is relatable. Which Friend are you? Starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow. (10 Seasons)

And that’s it, that’s my list of movies and TV shows perfect for Valentine’s Day if you’re single and just so happen to be a mum too.

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Aside from sharing some movie and TV show ideas, I also wanted to use this opportunity to highlight movies which represent mothers in different ways. Single mother or not, representation matters and I was delighted to find some of that in both TV and film. Hopefully in future there will be more positive representation of single mothers.

So, is watching Netflix the only thing I plan to do on Valentines Day? Guess we’ll have to wait and see in the next post. But for now remember that if you’re a single mum like me or single in general, Valentines Day is just as much for you as it is for everyone else so enjoy it! I know I will.

Your Turn…

What are some TV shows or movies you’re watching on Netflix right now? Have you seen any of the ones I’ve mentioned? Should I do a single dad’s edition? Would you like a review on these movies?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

P.S: My Christmas PJ’s were the best Christmas gift to myself! So comfortable and convenient for this UK weather. 🙂

Mum Blogger| Am I Changing Anything This New Year?

“You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
― Philip Pullman

“You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
― Philip Pullman

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If you’re new to my blog, welcome to my online home.

And if not, then welcome back!

How are you? How’s life treating you?

Me, I’m doing great. I’m currently sat on my toilet writing this post because, well it’s comfortable…kinda. It’s the one place I can let loose (literally) and be my absolute unashamed self. It’s also the one place I’ve found myself feeling creative and flowing with ideas. Weird, right? I’ve thought (and sang) some of my best work whilst in the bathroom but by the time I’ve gotten to a more “appropriate” room to write them all down, they’ve either disappear or just aren’t flowing as well as they were in the loo. This must be a sign, right? Or maybe I’m weird. Either way, I’ve learned as a new mum, you have to do what you have to do to get things done. Even if it means doing them whilst in the toilet.

But my choice of writing rooms isn’t why I’m writing this post. Oh no! It’s more exciting than that…I think.

I’m writing this post because I’ve decided to make a slight change to this little corner of the internet I call my blog. It’s been playing on my mind for a while now but I wasn’t quite sure whether it was for me and whether I really wanted to do it or not. After scheduling all of my December posts I felt a little flat when I started working on my January posts. I wasn’t as excited about the content I planned to put out so instead of posting I took sometime out to rethink the direction I’d like my blog to go.

I didn’t want to start the new year by putting out content for the sake of it or content I wasn’t really excited about. I actually want to enjoy writing and reading what I put out. Then the lovely Jenna over at jennasworldview.com tagged me in a twitter post which I took as a sign to stop thinking about it and just do it. I love me some signs! And so I decided to take the plunge and just do it. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe I shouldn’t say that…

Anywho, can you guess what it is? No, it’s not the new layout, although I am really in love with it. Looks rather nice don’t you think?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

Drum roll!

Lydia on life is officially becoming a….mummy blog! Tadaaaaaaa…

Okay, a little anticlimactic I know. I probably should have stuck to talking about the new blog layout but becoming a mum blogger seemed more exciting to me. If you’re still reading this then hopefully you feel the same way.

Some of my readers might have already thought of my blog as a mummy blogger since I spent like a month talking about my pregnancy, delivery and recovery but that was just me venting and expressing. I didn’t think it would be as therapeutic as it was nor did I think I’d enjoy it that much but I did. So much so that I was like hmmmmm, why don’t I just focus on this part of my life.

Aside from it being the biggest part of my life right now, it’s also become the most exhausting, worrying and exciting bit too. And I’d like to share it with anyone who wants to listen. I mean, I usually do in person so why not online?

This part of my life has also highlighted to me the lack of representation for women and probably men in my situation. I searched high and low for months trying to find someone like me, who was going through what I was going through and I was shocked to not find as many as I thought there would be. Have I been looking in the wrong places or is everyone hiding? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I’m here and I have the amazing opportunity to share my journey so I’m taking it.

I once heard someone say if you can’t find a tree, be the tree. That someone was me, I said that. I made it up as a way of motivating myself and more often than not it worked. What I’m trying to say is be the change you want to see if you can’t see it. Don’t just complain about it, be about it.

I’m a young single black woman, raising a child whilst learning to co-parent and build a career and although I never saw myself in this situation, it’s happened and I’m learning how to deal with it. I am in no way saying my story is unique or that I even know what I’m doing. I just believe that you don’t have to be unique or know what you are doing to share your story. You just have to be willing to share it. #everystorymatters.

The little I’ve shared on this blog has certainly help me and if it can help someone else then great. If it doesn’t then at least I know it’s helping one person; me.

You can be your own worst enemy or your greatest saviour. Choose wisely.

So long story short, I’m still Lydia on life, just more emphasis on the mum life now #mummyblogger #mommyblogger for my US people dem. I don’t know why I felt the need to announce this but guess it makes it more real when it’s written down somewhere on the internet. It also serves as an introduction to the content I have planned for the next few months. I’m so excited!

If you’ve made it this far in the post, why are we not friends already? Let’s work on that…

May God bless you and I hope you’ll stick around. If you do, I encourage you to interact with me and join me on this journey. I’m winging it and learning as I go along. I know sharing it on the internet is subject to some criticism (especially being a single mum) which I’m fine with. In fact, I welcome open and honest conversations about motherhood and parenting in general – online and offline.

However, I ask you to remember that it’s okay to agree to disagree as long as we do it with respect. Sing it with me, R E S P E C T, I’ll tell you what that means to me. It means, live your life and allow me to live mine. And don’t judge me for writing about it from the comfort of my toilet seat, which by the way has proven to be very successful. Think I’ve found my new writing room.

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talks.

Your Turn…

Where do you feel most comfortable writing? How did you decide on what to write about?

Let me know in the comments below or on my social @lydiaonlife.

Also, don’t forget to follow the blog too! And why not add yourself to the mailing list for updates whilst you’re at it?

I post once a week so stay tuned for the next one.

Till next time!

Love always,
Lydia x

P.s: Happy New Year! (Is it too late to say that?)